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Saturday, December 31, 2005

anger management

Watched the DVD Anger Management last night with my brother, found it very meaningful and a little applicable to myself. Oh actually it is a comedy, with lots of crude sexual content and languages, so it was kinda weird watching it with my brother when the movie contains comments involving genital and sexual behaviours. At first I thought it is like one of those crappy Stephen Chow movie, turn out there is more to it.

It says that there are 2 forms of anger, one is explosive, the other is implosive. So Sandler plays this guy who is nice, honest, always being pushed around, lacks confidence, jealous, and most importantly, angry at himself. Does that remind you of someone in this blog? Sigh... must learn to be more resolute and confident.

One quote I find quite meaningful:
You can't get rid of your temper by losing it.

To my dear readers, manage your anger~!



did they say cors sucks?

I was looking at my tracker report then I saw something interesting... people were searching on "CORS sucks nus" in Yahoo!

Really seriously, it may not be the perfect system, but it is the best that we can have at the moment. Look at NTU, first come first serve how to fight???

Anyway feeling a bit sad now cos I got outbidded. Stupid me didn't keep track of the bidding situation, I placed 1 bid, then ended up the next minimum bid was 101 and the highest bid was 1492, all within the column for year one leh!! Wah lao year one already so desperate... so determined to get that darn module meh?

Think for Round 1B I must watch it like people watch stock market. If the system shortchanged you, then shortchange back the system.



lame climbers

At first I felt quite weird this morning, somehow something seemed to be missing... oh Alex. =P

So today I went climbing with Edwin and his secondary school friend Zhihao. It was wise of me not to expect Nicholl to turn up. Basket everyone saving up energy for tonight's New Year's Eve party (or they have already drained up last night).

There were quite a lot of people climbing today at Yishun, think a lot of them wanted to take the opportunity before school starts next week. Bernard and Kai Sing were there too, haven't seen Bernard for quite a while. So I crapped quite a bit with Bernard and KS, we talked about their Kinabalu trip last week, talked about One Utama, talked about Genting... then Edwin joined in the conversation cos he just tried climbing at Genting last weekend, then Bernard and KS also diam diam.. must be thinking "who is he?" hahaha! Oh I even disturbed Bernard midway up the wall, he was leading lane 6 green and I was top roping lane 5 white then we just talked cock up there. =P Even at Northpoint foodcourt we saw Bernard and he crapped with me there.

I did 3 climbs today, 1 white, 6 green and 5 white. Yup they are the easy routes, but still feel quite satisfied with myself. I did use more technics than before, like flagging, drop knee(surprisingly I did it), lots of sit-ins, did once foot match hand, smear.... oh I did one super awkward leg cross over from in front, ballet move.... Feels like 温故知新, revising on the old ones before learning the new ones. Oh actually Edwin's belaying is more smooth than Zhihao's, although Zhihao has a level one cert. Anyway Zhihao is in NUS Science year 3.

Dunno why, but just feel that there were too many people and the flow wasn't that smooth. For example there was this group who booked a few lanes at a go. Of course if I were in their shoes (stinko) I could have done the same, but... alright I'm too nice and too easy to bully.

After the climb we went to check out the Allsports store downstairs, cos my 35% voucher expires today. Too bad I didn't need anything there, stupid me got the carabiner at Peninsula, and no point spending money just to redeem that 35% off, that would be foolish. (have you heard of the story of a woman spending $50 on a handbag cos it comes free with a $5 lipsticks, but she threw away the handbag cos all she wants is the lipsticks) Anyway we saw this cool looking Krieg chalk bag with the words US National Team. Who would buy that?



Friday, December 30, 2005

fear of death

I don't usually express my fear of death so openly. (come on, how many of us really aren't afraid of death?)

Edwin was asking if I'm climbing this week, cos he will be bringing a few of his Australian friends to climb. Alex is not climbing this week, Meder is in Myanmar, Nicholl can't really count her in, ermm... I am just a little concerned cos there ain't enough belayers around.

So Edwin was trying to assure me that he knows how to belay. He said that he has climbed with me so many times already, etc etc. Come to think of it, I think I don't need one hand to count the number of times he had climbed with us. Oh I still can remember that time he was laughing at some secondary school kid crying on the wall, then just a few minutes later Edwin told me he didn't know how to tie the figure of 8 knot. -_-"

I dunno, I just don't quite like the phrase "so many times" as a reason/assurance. If go by counting I think I have climbed with Alex for quite some time, or even with Meder and Nicholl, but still I won't say it's many times. It is like if you fully know your climber's habbit, he/she doesn't need to speak a word and you also know what is his/her next move, then maybe it is more appropriate to say it. Anyway after that time's climbing accident at the 25m wall, I am more cautious.

What I'm concerned with is my own life! Edwin and his friends I can belay, so no issue with their lifes, but who will belay me?? Hmm... maybe I should be the belay slave then. =P Nevermind.. we shall see.

(Oh I know Edwin is reading this, hahaha so it is not talking behind his back. I am just trying to save him the trouble of feeling guilty when I fall off the wall. Think I should settle him on the ground)



Thursday, December 29, 2005

changing style

Ermm do you guys think I should change the header of my blog? I feel the chilli and the crab looks quite boring.... I already have something in mind, but just not sure whether I should keep the current style or not.

Anyway I thought I should change my desktop wallpaper as well. This is the one that I have been using for.... this year? At least for Semester 1.

Then I thought a little encouragement could stir me on to work harder for the new semester....

Looks a bit too hardcore. Maybe I should try one with Che Guevana as well. Anyway the Chinese words means victory to every battle. Depends on how you look at it, you can always see disadvantage to your advantage, so every battle can be a victory. Now that I explain it this way, doesn't sound encouraging anymore... ok back to the cup of coffee.



birthday gift

Last night I was clearing the kitchen sink when the fixed line phone rang. My mother picked it up and it was for me. Weird, I seldom get phone calls, let alone fixed line call. It was Janan, he was asking if I am attending Yunci's birthday party this weekend. Don't want leh, after my experience at the recent ODAC gathering at AJC, I know I am out of place, so no point getting myself even more out of place. Afterall I am not that close to Yunci and the rest of the ODACians.

Put down the phone, went back to the cleaning. My mother was saying the conversation was so short, er.. how long could it be? Then the phone rang again, my mother answered it again, and it was Janan again. My mother was saying he sounded polite. Err... think so. So this time round Janan was asking me about rockclimbing shoes, cos they are thinking of getting Yunci a pair of climbing shoes, and since I'm the climber in the batch, so.... he just asked me for suggestions and where to get it that kind of thing.

After the conversation I was thinking, hmm.. should I offer help to go shop with him? And since I have SAC card, I can get 25% discount from Allsports and Adventure 21. If I don't contribute to the money, at least can contribute the discount... but anyway decided not to. Afterall it may be seem so extra.

Then just now Janan called again, about the sizing and all those. Actually quite difficult to buy climbing shoes without the wearer being there. Janan was intending to buy the Mad Rock 60 bucks limited stock... err.. ok. Out of curiosity I asked Janan, since Yunci is a dragonboater and not a climber, why get her the shoes? So he said actually he asked her and she said she would want a pair of climbing shoes, specifically laced up somemore. Then he said since it is her 21st birthday, so must get something for her. Har? Got such theory one ar? I think I only got a birthday off from Army for my 21st birthday. Birthday big deal.

I don't understand. You buy me a kayaking paddle I also won't use it. Alright, I'm just expressing my lack of interest in my batch of ODACians.



incentive to study

Yesterday I was typing typing halfway, then out of the blue Nikki messaged me on MSN, asking me to encourage her to study. -_-" errrrr...

She is quite funny, sometimes will have the drive to study, then one minute later she will lose the will power. (actually it does occur to all of us, doesn't it?) Didn't know how to encourage her to study, since I knew the grandfather stories wouldn't work on anyone, so I just told her I did badly for my exam. Seemed to have a little effect though. She is hoping to get into Hong Kong University Bachelor of Arts programme, think majoring in English. So weird, she likes English, she always ask me for help on English problems, when I don't really love English.

She said, why can't everything be in place for her, then she changed her mind and said but if everything is there, then life would be boring. Ermm.. what do humans want?!?! When you have a hard life, you complain life is too hard; when life is easy, you complain life is boring.



quote of the day

Make A Great Impression on Customer
That's MAGIC!

--- Poster at HDB Ang Mo Kio Branch Office



Wednesday, December 28, 2005

cors

No not the "yeah, thunder only happens when it's raining" that Corrs, it's CORS, Centralized Online Registration System. Yay that's the season for CORS again... (I'm so fake)Anyway CORS is still more civilised than the 4D/TOTO queue at NTU.


Had been quite undecided on what module to choose for next semester. On one hand I want to finish my SARTOR quickly, on the other hand the serviced ULR protection for Engineering Faculty is quite tempting also. Then for Singapore Studies I saw some interesting modules but not within the protection,... arghh!!! Yeah I'm so indecisive, lack of confidence, even Allsports uncle knows it when I bought climbing gear -_-"

So I asked around, asked Wei Guang, asked Hong Jun, asked Wei Chuan, asked Rizwan, even poor Stephanie from Faculty of Arts and Social Science also kena asked by me. I was about to decide on Principles of Economics, then people were saying very hard and etc etc...

My mind is set (doesn't sound convincing though) on Econs, although I have never taken Econs at JC level... But afterall I didn't take Sociology at A Level, so, still the same isn't it? Still a long way to go, now it's only Round 0. (so funny, have you ever seen boxing game they shout "Round Zero, FIGHT!")



christmas in malaysia

In case you were wondering why there were no entries for 25th and 26th, I was in Malaysia with my mother and brother. My mother wanted to spend the long weekend somewhere, so "When Caesar says 'do this,' it is perform'd" (Julius Caesar, Act One Scene 2)

The "fun" started at Second Link. The ICA staff looked at me for quite long... think I was having that zuai smile on my face, then he asked for my IC number. Weird, do I really look so different from the passport photo? Or do I look like some wanted person?

Don't want to bore you with details. So we went to Putrajayam which is where the Malaysian Prime Minister's office is. Of course we didn't go into his office, but just the compound. Big bulidings, but quite hot, think cos it was still new, so the trees haven't grown up. Then went to Klang, and that night went to Selangor Firefly Park. Quite interesting to see so many fireflies, and the trees really looked like Christmas trees with the firefly lighting up in synchronisation. (my brother said one, I still don't believe they glow at the same frequency) That night after everything the 3 of us went off on our own hunting for Klang bak ku teh, and yup we had some very thick bak ku teh at a stall called Restoran Chow Kiat. It was 11pm and the streets were quite dark and empty... scary for a country with high crime rate.

So the next day we went to Malacca. The tour guide was quite slack, didn't bring us to the historical sites but instead brought us to shopping centre. Anyway the 3 of us wandered off on our own to visit the church and the old red houses. My mother and brother went there before, so actually they only want to bring me there. Had some nice Malacca cendol, saw some loud Hong Kong tourists...
Think that's about all that I want to say about the trip. Oh, the people in the same tour sucks. Pardon my language, but I'm really not happy with them. Their kids were quite naughty, I was really gritting my teeth and holding back my middle finger... it is like there was this mainlander Chinese family, their boy was like jumping around, climbing around in the coach. How I wish the bus just bumped up and he should hit his head. Then there were some selfish people as well, during the firefly river ride I tried to be nice and make way, they took the bloody opportunity and took my place.

My whole life why must I be the one sacrificing?? I always don't know why... but since it was a holiday trip and if it could make everyone happy.... but still, why must I be unhappy so that others can stay happy? yeah yeah good karma priceless my ass.



she slapped me, she held my hand

(can you just ignore the title for a while?)

Now I shall continue with what happened yesterday.
So in the morning I asked Stephanie out. Actually quite bad of me, everytime so last minute then ask her out, somemore she had to settle her younger sister. The concert was at 12:45, we agreed on 12:30, but she reached at 12:46. I was still teasing her about the punishment for being late then I realised she wasn't feeling well. Ouch. Feel bad.

After the concert I just dragged her along. We walked pass Chocz where I bought the marshmallow dark chocolate fondue~! No no no, not the whole fondue, cheapo me just bought 2 pieces. So funny Stephanie was pulling me away from the stall like some kid wanting to go home. My mind was quite set after the experience from the previous date when I didn't buy the expensive chocolate. Later she told me she wasn't in the mood for chocolate. Ouch. But think she liked the marshmellow, her fingers making the spongy motion.

We had lunch at Suntec fountain foodcourt, where she almost choked a few times while hearing my story of the Malaysia trip. Then we went to see the aquarium near the Koi Garden, there were quite a lot of cute angel fish~. We walked walked walked, at Citylink her knee was giving her problem, so we sat down at the steps at City Hall MRT station. There we chatted quite a bit, I'm surprised we chatted on things that we normally would only chat online. I asked her to slap me, cos before the exam she said she would slap me if I couldn't "crap out a good result". Yup, I always make people keep to their promise. Then suddenly she gave me a slap on the back.. BUMP! Oh okay, didn't realize that is another form of slap. But it meant a lot to me.

After we rested enough, we went to Peninsula, wanted to bring her to climbing shops, and I also wanted to buy a carabiner. It was raining! Couldn't tell when we were underground. So we crossed the road sharing the same umbrella, her umbrella was a one-man umbrella, a little small for 2, so I told her to stay close to me... not close enough, so I told her to hold my hand which was holding the umbrella =_= No no no my intention was didn't want her to get the rain, no evil thoughts, but she wrapped her arm around mine... (ok I can see a restless crowd now) We went to Outdoor Specialist to checked the price, BD straight gate was at $17, then we went to Allsports, hmm Petzl's was a bit expensive, $20+, so I went for the Faders'. Oh Stephanie also could tell the uncle was sarcastic. Haha so funny, "crab again ah?"

After I was done with MY shopping, we went to Asian Civilisation Museum at Armenian Street. It is free admission until the end of this month cos it will be closed for renovation. In a way I was quite glad and surprised at Stephanie's interest at the exhibit, cos as a former museum tour guide I myself was too lazy to read the words, maybe cos I read them before somewhere.

She asked me if the whole itinerary was impromptu. No ah, all planned out one.



Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Lunchbox: Mistletoe Rock

(sorry, cos blogger hanged just now, so this is the second time I'm writing)
Went to Lunchbox concert at Esplanade with Stephanie today. Think that's my fourth Lunchbox. Today's concert was by Randolf Arriola and Danny Loong with rock, jazz and blues. As before, the concert hall was quite packed, this time round with more kids than previous ones since it is school holiday, but it is still largely dominated by office people. (lunch break is so long?)

We went in just in time the emcee was introducing the band. I thought Randolf looked like Kumar! -_-" Somehow I prefer the previous Lunchbox concerts by Timmy and Walking on Water, maybe cos they played more familar pieces, so there is a common frequency with me. Something like resonance. Maybe it is just me, the only pieces I could recognise were the Christmas songs =P

(sorry, too tired for part 2 of the date, stupid CORS bidding drained my energy)



Saturday, December 24, 2005

get that man a biner

The other day I was reading an online climbing forum, and saw this comment to a good reply. "Get that man a biner!" (supposed to sound like "get that man a beer")
This morning I had many jugs... of rain water plus chalk plus stain plus whatever you can find inside a hold.

Imagine this, if you can squeeze all five of your fat fingers into the space, so can that much volumn of rain water right? So this morning I was busy clearing water out from the jugs. Damn disgusting, the moment I dipped my fingers in, the dirty water either splashed out, or flowed like a river down my arm and into my sleeve (and yes, to my underarm, disgusting)

Today it's the same old Alex and me, the rest all missing in action. What to do?

I was quite sadistic today. There was this group which didn't look like regular climbers, but one slightly more experienced guy acted as if he is damn jai. My sadism started when I saw them hunting for the climbing rope, then finally when they got the rope from the office, the way they set up the rope was quite an entertainment for me too. Dunno why he must ignore the free end of the twine but untie the dead end to make it a free end. And he didn't make a double clove hitch when he tied the twine to the climbing rope, so I was waiting to see the climbing rope get stuck at the anchor. Luckily the rope got through. While belaying, Mister jai sat down on the wooden bench, then one of the more experienced climber came over and told him not to, so he LL stood up lor~. Then he made one very funny comment to the climber he was belaying, "That's a drop knee, very nice!" Hello~, do you think those once-in-a-blue-moon climber of his would want to bother whether it is a drop knee or drop head? And THAT move didn't help in his ascent anyway. And the way one of the guys belayed, it was horrible. He was belaying(lowering) as though he was abseiling. Can't imagine if something happened then he might hurt both himself and the climber. Teaching of belaying is not allowed, but Alex nevertheless went up to point out the mistake to him. So nice/kaypo of him. =P

Told you, I'm evil.



Friday, December 23, 2005

christmas present (of another kind)

Not sure if it can be counted, but I'm quite happy with my exam results.

My result release was at 5pm this afternoon, while Hong Jun's was at 3pm, and he had brought his laptop along, so after my shopping we went to Funan MacDonald's to check the result.

Here goes...
Actually I was quite worried that I may fail a module or two, then have to "take-away" next semester. Surprsingly, I got all Bs. (no no no, not BSc.. is plural for B). How should I say... recently I read an article from a Taoist book, it goes something like a beggar's best meal could be a millionaire's rubbish. So... er maybe you wouldn't spare an extra look at my result, but I'm happy with it. That's the good thing about being pessimistic. Things can't get any worse.

On the contrary, I feel quite bad for Hong Jun. He studied hard, but I didn't, but he had one more B- than me. Just slightly.. but I think I was on the gaining side of this unfairness.

I'm sure if I studied, I could do much better. If I study next semester, I can do much better.



christmas present (for myself)

I've been advertising for Black Diamond so much that I think I don't need to put up the photo. Yup, finally got myself the Mini Pearabiner after eyeing it for 4-5 years. Also, I got myself a Black Diamond 60cm Dynex sling. (now come to think of it, I think I still need one more carabiner if I don't want to tie the sling to my harness' belay loop)

Actually I was going to Stephanie's concert with Hong Jun, just happened that Hong Jun was in Ang Mo Kio, and I originally wanted to go to Peninsula before the concert, so Hong Jun tagged along for the shopping.

First went to Outdoor Specialist to check the price, then to Allsports. Had quite a long talk with an uncle (not THE Uncle), bought the Pearabiner there with 25% off using my SAC card. Didn't buy the sling there cos the Petzl and Beal design not that nice, so went to Outdoor Specialist to buy the BD Dynex, auntie gave me $2 Christmas discount. (ok I asked her) My experience with my first pair of climbing shoes told me that if you really like something, go for it. My junior Samuel was saying "women spend to look good, men spend to feel good". True.

Somehow, Allsports uncle was quite pissed off with my indecisiveness. =P Cos they were giving me so many options, so I couldn't quite decide on the slings. Then he said something like "you are a man then act like a man"... ermm.. ok.... Allsports doesn't sell customer service. But they don't need to, cos climber need them more than the other way round. Oh one thing, Allsports' stock isn't that good, they only have 2 Pearabiner on the rack, and the other time they didn't have the BD Momentum AL harness.

Now, feeling a bit lost as to whether the money was well spent or not.



porta potty

I think the cat misses me.

My mother was suspecting someone had been stepping onto our pot of aloe vera, cos the soil seems to have been stepped on when we see it every morning. I was saying must be some rats digging a hole in the soil. So just now my mother dug up the soil and to her horror, she found...... cat crap!

"Your Persian cat" was what she said. But no proof, no witness, so it is still innocent until proven guilty before the law.

Not a bad thing what! It does its business without disturbing us (that's why we don't know), it fertilizes our aloe vera, and best thing is it covers its crap up.

Anyway my mother is determined to drive the terrorist out from its nest. Poor cat, now it has to find another toilet.



merry hokkien christmas

Saw my brother watching this and thought it funny...
Merry Christmas~!

Christmas' over, no more flash for you.
http://www.syfc.org.sg/christmas05/index.swf



Thursday, December 22, 2005


作者: 三毛

  我最喜欢别人将我看成傻瓜。这样与人相处起来就方便多了。
  我不劝任何人任何事。
  其实,每一个人对自己的作为只是假糊涂而已。
  对待一个恶人退让,结果使他得寸进尺。
  对待一个傻子夸奖,结果使他得意忘形。

  世界上最公平的美事在于:聪明人洋洋自得。糊涂人也不认为自己差到哪儿去。
  社会上最不公平的看法就是:摆在眼前一个自私自利,毫无道德良知,随时随处麻烦他人,占尽一切便宜的小人。一般只将这类人称为——“不懂事”。而对待一个胸襟宽厚,善待他人,凡事退让,况且心存悲悯,乐于助人的真诚君子,一般人说起来只得一句——这个人嘛!不过是会做人而已。

  “平凡人”和“枯燥人”绝对是两种人。大半枯燥人都夸说自己平平凡凡。

  最令人惧怕的一类人,在于性格的不明显。在这件模糊的外衣之下,隐藏着的内在人格又是什么呢?好邻居重要。好亲戚也重要。将亲戚请来做邻居,往往亲戚和邻居都成仇人。

  化妆有助气色,无助气质。有家产和有家教没有太大关系。从容不迫的举止,比起咄咄逼人的态度,更能令人心折。

  人情冷暖正如花开花谢,不如将这种现象,想成一场必然的季节。

  如果我们能够做得到将丈夫当成好朋友,将朋友看成手足,将手足当成自己真正的手和脚,将子女看成父母,将父母看成心爱的子女……这些人际关系,可能不是目前的这个局面了。

  问题出在:谁会这么颠三倒四的去做傻瓜?做过上千次人性试验之后,对于任何一次必然重演的失败,都抱着一种信念——起码这个试验又做了一次。

  婴儿诞生,一般人并不知晓婴儿的未来,可是都说——恭喜!恭喜!
  某人死了,一般人也不明白死后的世界,却说——可惜!可惜!


Salute to 三毛!
Now I'm quite disappointed that my compilation book censored one paragraph from this article.



from anger to humour

This morning after breakfast, as usual I washed the dishes. My mother was about to go to the market, but she said she needed me to go with her to carry some stuffs (chicken, pork... for the offerings) Then my brother told me to go, but I was washing the dishes, how to go?? (cos the market would be quite crowded today since it is 冬至 today, so many people would want to buy things as offerings) I asked my brother to go help mother, but he said he needed to go to school. So in the end I went with my mother after I had finished washing the dishes.

Ermm... firstly, my brother could have done the washing and I could go to the market early. He didn't, he was busy reading newspaper. I told him "you think I can split myself?" Maybe it's a good idea to clone myself, then my twin can do all the dirty stuffs, get scolding, etc, while I enjoy life.

Oh, I didn't lose my cool, in fact I think my brother felt taken aback by my comment.



you better watch out

Don't know how to put it... okay yesterday morning there was a 40+ year old gentleman came to my home saying he is from the government and he needs to check my house for mosquito. He wasn't wearing uniform, and when I asked to see his identification, he handed me a 'letter of appointment". I looked at the letter, it had the letterhead of National Enviroment Agency, but very poor quality printing. (I think even domestic inkjet printer can do better than that. After my army experience in manpower, I learn that anything is possible, court order, MC, specialist letter, etc. You name it, they print it.)

I refused him entry to my house. Just around 2 weeks ago someone from the NEA (with proper identification and polo-tee uniform)already came in to check, come to think of it how can the check be so frequent? Then yesterday that man said actually he was not supposed to say but someone from my level got dengue fever. Not supposed to say then still say? Hmm... So, he left. Then my mother kaypo, she went to ask our neighbour, who also denied entry to that man. The neighbour's son found it suspiscious also, so he actually called up NEA to ask if such check was conducted yesterday, and the answer was NO. Aha, then he called the police.

Then my brother came home, we told him the incident, then as usual he said things like chase after him and catch him blah blah blah.

Yawn. Still remember that time I was arguing with some Macau mafia and he timidly kept quiet.

(the point is, people, it doesn't harm to check their identification, and don't need to feel embarassed to deny them entry. For goodness's sake, it is your home)



Wednesday, December 21, 2005

hold


When you climb, do you keep thinking of falling?
Or would you think of how you can secure your current grip?
Or better still, would you think of how to climb higher?

One thing I like about climbing is that it teaches you a lot about life. More about the process than the outcome. (and Meder and Birgette would joke about me being "so philo")

Feeling a little amused about relationship. Haven't even gotten together and the girl is worrying about break-up. People invented ropes and harnesses because they don't want to die while climbing. At least they did something to prevent misfortune.

To be honest, I feel very tired. It is like me belaying a climber, but the climber has ZERO will to climb up, haven't even reached the one metre mark and already whining about falling (when he/she could just jump down safely from that height)

Climber and belayer, connected by the same rope. Now, can someone please pass me a knife?



那么爱你为什么



Not sure if you guys have heard this song by 黄品源. I find the rhythm quite nice, and the lyrics are meaningful too. I remember the first time I listened to it, I was waiting for 151 at Bukit Timah and it went "你讲也讲不听 听又听不懂 懂也不会做 你做又做不好", I was like, what the...

离开你 是傻是对是错
是看破 是软弱
这结果 是爱是恨 或者是什么
如果是种解脱 怎么会还有眷恋在我心窝
那么爱你 为什么

RAP:
从女性观点 让我明白地说
无论你是挖心掏肺
呼天抢地或是热情如火
不只白白惹人讨厌让人嫌你罗唆
恨不得没跟你认识过
你讲也讲不听 听又听不懂
懂也不会做 你做又做不好
你现在唱个这样的歌
你到底是想对我说什么

面对陌生疑惑肯定困难的生活
过去的日子彷彿偷偷在笑我
笑我的落魄 也笑我的执着
也许吧 他爱你比我多

离开你 是傻是对是错
是看破 是软弱
这结果 是爱是恨 或者是什么
如果是种解脱 怎么会还有眷恋在我心窝
那么爱你 为什么

RAP:
有太多男女就像你就像我
年纪轻轻开始拍拖
纯纯的爱或者天雷地火
眼看卿卿我我眼看情海生波
最终日子还得往下过
你可以说我冷漠 或是怪我刻薄
我倒想等着看 你没我能不能活
你现在唱个这样的歌
你以为我们之间还会有什么

面对陌生疑惑肯定困难的生活
过去的日子彷彿偷偷在笑我
笑我的落魄 也笑我的执着
也许吧 他爱你比我多

离开你 是傻是对是错
是看破 是软弱
这结果 是爱是恨 或者是什么
如果是种解脱 怎么会还有眷恋在我心窝
那么爱你 为什么



Tuesday, December 20, 2005

prelude to sad things

Woke up at 6am this morning and went to do some reading. Think the morning air was cool and I was only wearing shorts and singlet, my nose started sniffing.

Now I realise the running nose was an anticipation to the sad things later on.

I was supposed to meet up with Stephanie to get the concert tickets from her. Before that we chatted a bit on MSN. She hinted something bad in the chat, but refused to say it. I have the slightest feeling that she was afraid I would change my mind and decide not to go to the concert, that's why she didn't want to tell me in the chat. Very slight, in the order of ten to the power of negative infinity. Trying to convince myself that she is not that kind of person, albeit this is a material world.

So we met outside AJC, our alma mater. Did the transaction, I handed over the money, she handed over the tickets. Cos she had to go to town to meet her friends, so I walked her to Ang Mo Kio MRT Station. Along the way we chatted a little, she still didn't want to tell me what the bad thing was, but it was along the line of rejection. She nodded her head just before going through the gate.

Sigh.

Alrite, I'm not her type. Sorry to have wasted her time. Think now she can answer her own question as to why I am single. That reminds me of a funny scenario: a promoter is selling a product. A shopper stops by. Shopper knows he will never buy that product. Out of curiosity shopper asks promoter, "why does no one want to buy your product?" Promoter may answer either "(angrily) because people like you don't buy it" or "(begging) because no one gives the product a chance". However shopper has given the product a try and knows it sucks, so why would he want to buy it?

Now, in case you guys are rallying your angry mob, please calm down.
Merry Christmas. =P



top 10 reasons climbing is better than sex

10. Choice of novice or expert routes
9. A climb can last all day
8. Guidebooks tell you how many visitors have been there before you
7. Can pick the length and diameter of your rope
6. There is always someone backing you up in case you fall off
5. You can leave your protection behind for the next guy
4. Lots of tight cracks
3. It's not considered kinky to wear a harness
2. The only rubber you wear is on your feet
1. There are still rocks that haven't been touched


(trying to cheer myself up a bit)



quote of the day

This world is so fake that only the fake things are real.
--- disheartened chow



same room, different dreams

Yes, dream again.
Last night I dreamed of going back to army. Saw chief clerk, SSM... I got a feeling my rank was higher than SSM (*hint hint) Anyway I can't remember the rest of the dream now.

Then suddenly I heard shouting. I mean in real life. It was my brother... looks like I was not the only one dreaming. Don't know whether I should classify it as shouting or screaming, but after making the noise I saw him sitting by his bed. I pretended I was asleep, but still observing his move (what if he strangle me...) I think he was still over-excited from his weekend Malaysia trip.

Call my room Dreamworks.



chimney

Let's be honest. If we forget about the harness and shoes(ie, maybe use SAFRA's), climbing chimney is fun. I was sorting out my folders when I came across this climbing tips thingie in my computer, find it quite cute so just want to share with you guys.

Basically that's the suggested sequence for climbing chimney.

Start by getting in to this position.
Move one foot to the wall behind you.
Stand up with one foot on each wall, and press your arms against the wall to lift your body upwards without dragging it.
Move that leg from behind you up to the wall in front of your waist
and then move up the lower leg to complete the sequence


And you think the chimney is custom-made? Think again.

Too narrow also cannot extend the legs. Too wide looks like it will kill your arms.



Monday, December 19, 2005

passive murder

Feeling very bad right now.

I heard a very loud BANG coming from behind my block, so I went to the kitchen to take a look. I saw crows flying away and a pickup-van having a sign that says "Crow Culling". Under the large tree there were 2 men, one armed with a long barrel gun and was picking up a crow into a plastic bag. Then they went off.

I was the one who emailed to Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority who forwarded my mail to Ministry of the Environment and Water Resources. I thought they would just remove the nest, but....

For a while I couldn't breathe, I feel like I just did some cruel thing.



all that crab (or krab)


(left to right, HMS, Mini Pearbiner, Positron)

After the 25m climb, I seriously think that I need a Christmas present for myself: a sling + new carabiner. Basically hangdogging sucks and it doesn't rest your body. Now the problem is which carabiner to choose.

Now I'm using the Faders HMS as belay biner. I think of buying the Black Diamond Mini Pearabiner to replace my HMS and use the HMS for the sling. Somehow the HMS doesn't feel nice for belaying due to its rounder space compared to the more oval arch on the Pearabiner. so the ATC tends to move around a lot (which is not good, the movement of the rope may unscrew the locker). But very weird if I use a locker biner for sling. So alternatively I can buy a straight gate such as the BD Positron for the sling.

If I'm loaded I would buy the Mini Pearabiner and the Positron and condemn the HMS. Too bad I am not.



freaky coffee dream

I had a very freaky dream last night, not sure whether to classify it as nightmare, but it was really freaky.

I was in a developing country, not sure it was China or Malaysia. I walked pass a factory. It was fenced up and had a guard post at the entrance. I climbed over the fence, gave the security guard a stuck-up look, and walked into the building. I stole a packet of 3-in-1 coffee and took my leave. (I think it was the Capparoma low fat coffee, the brand that we see advertising on taxi.) Ok so the moment I climbed back out from the compound, I heard a siren, and suddenly soldiers with dogs came rushing out from the factory. I ran to a nearby park, dumped the pack of coffee somewhere to retrieve later, then I sat on a bench, trying to act like any other passers-by. Somehow I found myself surrounded by 20-30 soldiers, each with a german shepherd. I slowly stood up, walked away, with the circle of soldiers moving with me at the centre of the circle. Something like in kungfu movies. Ok the rest I can't remember anymore.

Why do I have such freaky dream? 1) I don't like China and Malaysia. 2) I won't buy Capparoma. 3) I will surely be captured in such an entrapment. 4) fetish for soldiers.

So in a way, dreams reflect what you think in real life, and what you wish you can do in real life.
Still freaky.



Sunday, December 18, 2005

unusual patience

Went to Junction 8 with my mother today. Miraculously my mood wasn't that bad, ie I didn't feel annoyed by the shopping. Usually I would feel quite irritated following my mother's hopping around the clothing stores. I think because I'm too tired to feel tired. Still feeling tired from yesterday's climb.

Now don't laugh. We were already buying new year's clothes. Supposedly people are shopping for Christmas, but we were shopping for Chinese New Year. I mean, why waste the opportunity of Christmas sales? It is like if you supply North Korea with nuclear powerplant, they might as well use it for nuclear weapon. Same as selling PS2 to China. (yes, you can use PS2's chip for cruise missile)

I don't usually buy clothes, maybe one piece per year, for Chinese New Year that is. I got myself a B.U.M Equipment T-shirt! The funny thing is, the items on the hangers are cheaper than those on the cart -_-" Unbelievable, but whatever, I got my cheap clothes.

Jansen saw me outside Royal Sporting House. We chatted a bit and I realised he didn't turn up for the rock gym clean up as well. (grin grin) Oh but he is keen for the coming climbing camp this week. Not sure leh, I'm only keen on the Dairy Farm climbing.



(update) bloody maiden climb

That's Meder on(in) the chimney. Beats any advertisement from SAFRA. On either side of the chimney are the cracks for crack climbing. Lay back on crack climbing is fun!! Come to think of it, I think Jackie Chan will do well for both the chimney and crack climbing.



Saturday, December 17, 2005

the snowman



Have you watched the cartoon The Snowman on Christmas' Eve? I remember I watched it 3 years ago on a cold winter Christmas' Eve, and it was quite sad.

The story is about a boy who built a snowman in front of his house. Then that night at 12am, the snowman came to life and started playing with the boy in his house. The snowman flew the boy to North Pole where they joined other snowmen in a party. Then the snowman brought the boy back home. The next day, the boy discovered the snowman had melted.

I was reading a book and the author is asking why did they make such a sad cartoon for kids, especially for a happy occasion such as Christmas. Then the author says, maybe it is to tell the kids that those who are dearest to us will leave us one day, but they will stay in our heart forever. (just as in the case of The Snowman, the boy still had the scarf given to him by Santa)

When I listened to the song on that cold night, it felt sad.



bloody maiden climb

So the gang found a new love and we climbed the new 18m/25m wall today at SAFRA Yishun.(the tower in the background) It is the Adventure Sports Centre Open House today as well, so there were more visitors there than usual. Oh we had Alex, Nicholl, Meder and Birgette. KS and Wendy sticked to the 15m.

So I tried the 18m as warm up, (as I'm typing now, my keyboard is wet... my palms are sweaty!) 18m feels different from the usual 15m wall that we are used to climbing. So Alex was shouting "Too frontal le!!" Couldn't help it, 2 week didn't climb. Then I did the chimney climbing... which was new. I only managed to reach the first crack. I think I could have gone on, but really felt heart pain seeing my harness and shoes got scrubbed against the wall. The back of my hands and elbows got quite a bit of scratches and abrasion from the chimney climbing. Ouch. Meder went up quite high on the chimney, and couldn't help keep advertising for his climbing shoes. They are screwed anyway.

Then I took on the 25m. It was simply horrible. Let's say one storey is 3m, then it was like 8 storeys high. The tiles look innocent from the bottom, but I realise they were horrible when my fingers were touching them. Somemore there were lots of loose tiles, irritating. Oh Meder was belaying me and he shouted up, "Hey you look like you are doing ballet!" Finally he realised. That's poetry in motion. Anyway the view up there was nice, could see the service reservoir from the top of the wall.

Something terrible happened. A woman was belaying her husband on the left-most lane, 25m wall, when her husband fell down. It was quite a loud landing and the next thing we saw was the man lying in pain on the ground. At that time a crowd was gathering in front of the wall for a briefing, and that happened right before their eyes. Dunno how the people would think of the safety of these activities. Anyway the man was ok, and his wife got quite a nasty rope burn on her right hand. What happened was, the lady was using an auto-locking belay device (see picture, think it was Trango Cinch, a new product) but she wasn't proficient in using it. After that accident Meder was kind of worried, so I assured him of my belaying and my beloved Air Traffic Controller. I still trust my ATC more than other belay devices. Oh earlier on Meder was still teaching Birgette how to use a Gri Gri (a more well-known auto-locking belay device by Petzl) Come to think of it, scary.

I did my last climb trying the crack climbing. Alex was saying I was doing well, but somehow when I don't have the mood then I won't carry on. So I came down.

Somehow, my palms are super sweaty today. Even while belaying my palms sweated. The worst thing is I ran out of chalk in my chalkbag, so I was desperately sqeezing my chalkball on the 25m climb.

Now stop sweating, palms!



odac gathering

In the end I still went for the AJC ODAC gathering last night. Forcing oneself to do things he doesn't want to do is like raping myself.

I had dinner at home then took a stroll to AJC. Same old Ang Mo Kio Ave 6, I had been taking the very same route, same cement path, for everyday of my 2 years in Junior College. Same path, same destination, same body, different mood. Maybe even different person.

So they had a barbecue at the parade square. Hmm, quite a few batches(think 5), my batch had 6 including myself, namely Yunci, Feng Jia, Grace, Zhenyi and Geok Wei. My juniors the 19th Comm were nowhere to be found(males are in NS). My reason for not wanting to be there was so valid. I still can't mix well with my batch. Feng Jia is still the basket in my opinion. Kept crapping and so full of himself. But the girls seemed amused and highly entertained by him. Good for them(and him).

Dunno why the 5 of them decided to leave to have dinner. So weird, there the juniors were cooking barbecue and then they wanted to go out and hunt for food. I opted to stay behind and had a very long and nice chat with Mr Gerard Chow. So we talked about a lot of stuffs, outdoor, teaching, univeristy... for 3 solid hours, one to one chat! He was telling me his trip to LA, his wages as an "illegal" waitress was more than his pay as a Physics teacher in AJC!

Mr Arthur Lim was telling his son to call Mr Gerard "uncle", then Mr Gerard said is "kor kor", not "uncle". Think Mr Gerard can see my lack of interaction with my batch, and he said to me, "You must talk more to young people. You talk to old people like me then I will become younger and you will become older." "oh equilibrium in closed system right?" Anyway Mr Gerard Chow is 30 years old.

Chatted a bit with Mr Lim Kok Wee. Oh he is quite similar to me also, also graduated from The Chinese High and Anderson Junior College. So cool, his daughter is 2 years old and it's my first time seeing her. Looks more like Mrs Lim. Anyway Mr Lim said one thing that kind of stirred my feelings. "I'm glad you didn't sign on." I was a bit shaking when I heard that, cos... it is still something that hurts. So I told him after university I may still think of that path. He who flees will fight again. Persistent is a bad thing.

So, afterall it wasn't totally bad last night.



Friday, December 16, 2005

biblical vs society

Saw this in a forum and find it interesting...

the bible says that women are suppose to keep silent in church, now there are more and more women pastors around


What do you say? Does it mean the bible is getting less relevant as our society evolves?



Thursday, December 15, 2005

thursday reflection

This is a random entry. I don't usually post random entry, but this is a random entry.

Early in the morning Alex disturbed me on MSN about me and tstar. I think he must be stressed out with work, so I don't mind letting him tease. In the afternoon, scrubbed the stoves and washed the blinds. I realised the flame wasn't as strong, so decided to clean the stove head. Discovered there was lots of dust in the pipe, so must have obstructed the gas outflow. After cleaning it seemed to have improved a lot. Washed the blinds in the toilet... didn't know it would be such a troublesome task cos the blinds really have no backbone! Spray spray scrub scrub... blah blah blah...

Stephanie went to see the doctor about her knees. Feel guilty to ask her out that day knowing that her knees have problem. Oh she asked the doctor about stress fracture as well. Sigh, she actually asked on my behalf, but I knew there is nothing I can do but to let it heal on its own (which will take forever). But thanks.

Feeling kind of lost right now. Tomorrow there is AJC ODAC gathering. Now I don't really feel like going. SQ is in Hong Kong, Janan is having lesson, Wei Guang hasn't reply, so it will be quite weird of me to go. I'm not that close to my batch of ODACians. My fault. Oh my Primary 6 classmates are having gathering tomorrow as well.

Nikki just MSNed me asking me how much Seiko watches cost. I dunno. Very funny, she likes to ask me this kind of miscellaneous things. Somemore I'm in Singapore, so things would cost differently in Hong Kong. Anyway I'm happy with my Victorinox watch, so why bother looking at other watches. But somehow some people married already still want to look at other women... doesn't make sense right?

End of crap.



riot police

I'm quite interested in the protest in Hong Kong for the WTO. More so because I like the Hong Kong Police. Although the protest has not gone up to the level of being a riot, but still, it is far from being the peaceful protest that Hongkongers are used to. From the various photos that I got from Reuters and AFP, looks like it is the elite PTU and the EU are in charge. (coincidentally, both PTU and EU have come out in movies having the same names. PTU=police tactical unit, EU= emergency unit)

Oh how do I know? From the markings on their new helmets. I think the whole riot suit is new gear, dubbed the Robocop suit by Hongkongers. Armed with plastic shields, fat baton (really fat), chilli sauce, and yes some are spotted with fire extinguishers on their back, just in case the Koreans want to play with fire. This kind of reminds me of the Greek Phalanx I'm so used to in my computer game. Oh some onlookers commented that when the HK Police changed shift it was like change of guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace. Interesting.

I wonder how it will be like if they hold WTO Talks in Singapore. Maybe they will mobilise the SAF as well? I dunno, but Singapore Police Force did mobilise the riot police when Dr Chee's sister protested outside CPF Building right?



age of romance

Have you ever wondered, during your grandparents' time was there romance? To put it simpler, did your grannies have romance?

I myself don't really believe there was any. If we look at the kind of society it was back then, the family was the basic unit for procreation. Procreation was a way to increase the economic workforce for the family. During such harsh time did they really have the luxury to think of romance? I don't think so~ Somemore the culture back then was very much male chauvinistic, so the social/domestic status of females was far from being equal to males. In Chinese there is a saying, 嫁鸡随鸡, 嫁狗随狗, which means if you are married to a chicken, then you follow the chicken; if you are married to a dog, then you follow the dog. There is also another saying 夫唱妇随, which means the husband sings this tune, the wife also must sing the same tune.

I really respect women of that time. Polygyny was common, how did they stand it? They could really keep quiet about their husband marrying another woman? Ermm.. were the males really that greedy? Why? One is not enough? But what's the use of having more than one wife when at the end of the day you would still ignore them.

I feel glad for women of today.



Wednesday, December 14, 2005

routemaster retires

On December 9th, Routemaster, the famous red London bus retired from regular service. You may ask, what has it got to do with me. Somehow I've got this feeling I rode on the Routemaster before. Hmm...

The interesting thing about buses is, it is sort of pegged to our memory. Ever remember your primary school days when you squeezed onto this ugly looking Volvo B57? Still can't remember? It had a very narrow entrance and a few steep steps. Oh don't freak out, I used to like buses a lot.

As time goes by, buses evolve. Now we have the comfortable Volvo Super Olympian and Dennis Trident which have low floor and no step. If you really like buses, go to Hong Kong, it's the land of the double deckers.

Have you watched the Japanese drama by Naoko Iijima about romance on a bus?

Stephanie asked me yesterday, "Isn't it better to take bus?"
Yes, sometimes.



can't finish food

I realise there are 4 types of situations when a person can't finish his/her food. Somehow it reflects on the person as well~

type A: 先知先觉, knowing you can't finish the food, you don't buy that much of food.
type B: 先知後觉, knowing you can't finish the food, you share some with your friends.
type C: 后知后觉, knowing you can't finish the food, you pass the left-over to your friends.
type D: 不知不觉, knowing you can't finish the food, you leave the unfinished food on the table.



finished watching evangelion


Now that I've finished watching the whole TV series and the OVAs, should be considered really finished watching the whole Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Did I talk about it previously? Okay whatever the case, I can't tell you much cos I myself don't quite understand the storyline. Why on earth did the angels want to attack earth? What is the significance of Test Type EVA-01? (piloted by the coward Shinji) Actually this cartoon is really not for innocent kids, there are scenes like woman moaning and Shinji satisfying himself in front of the unconscious Asuka. Really sick. Why must they add in those elements of adult cartoon???

No I didn't enjoy those scenes.



Tuesday, December 13, 2005

外面的世界


sorry, Chinese song. I think this is the only old song in the movie 如果爱 Perhaps Love.
外面的世界 by 齐秦.
在很久很久以前
你拥有我 我拥有你
在很久很久以前
你离开我 去远空翱翔
外面的世界很精彩
外面的世界很无奈
当你觉得外面的世界很精彩(无奈)
我会在这里衷心的祝福你
(我还在这里耐心的等着你)
每当夕阳西沉的时候
我总是在这里盼望你
天空中虽然飘着雨
我依然等待你的归期


Actually this song sort of describe one part of the story in Perhaps Love. The unique thing about this movie is that there is a movie within a movie, and the actors are acutally reenacting their past experience, love, etc. Quite nasty when you think of the woman slept around just to gain fame. Somehow the story lacks climax, and the only surprise came when Jackie Cheung fell onto the ground, later to be make known to us that there were safety mattresses there. But at least it was sort of a happy ending for all, since noone is burdened by their past love anymore. Maybe it wasn't even called love.



movie with stepmother

"Will u watch Perhaps Love with me Tomolo at tampines and hav lunch before tat as well?"

That's so sweet! Yup Stephanie asked me out~ Actually I wanted to ask her to climbing, but she really seemed to freak out, so decided not to force her to climb. Then she was thinking of asking me to the zoo, but then... somehow, seemed weird. So, according to her, the simplest thing: watch movie.


When I met up with Stephanie at Tampines Bus Interchange, she gave me one big surprise: Kit Kat Cappuccino! So that's the "valid reason" she was talking about for wanting to ask me out last Friday. Think she remembered the look on my face when we went to NTUC last week and told her about the Kit Kat... Thanks Stephanie!!

So we bought the tickets and had lunch at food court. It was very cute when she asked me to help her eat some of her chicken meat. There was a bit of time before the movie started so we walked around in Tampines Mall. Went to Times Bookshop and Toysrus -_-"

We watched Perhaps Love, and the title...hmm.. seems to have implication. Somehow the sound track was quite lousy, could hear distortion, and the sound proof wasn't that good too, I could hear sound from the next cinema. No wonder Rockey can list out which cinema is good and which is bad. Oh I ate the Kit Kat inside the cinema (although no outside food) and it was too sweet to handle.

On the whole today's date is better than our first one, cos we really had something to talk about today. Come to think of it, if I am to sit and look at my own family members for 2 hours I would be bored too. I went a bit overboard today. I kept holding on to her slingbag when we walked around the malls, but I couldn't help liking the feeling of our arms rubbing against each other. Sounds so pervert... Oh and I feel quite cheapo now, I should have bought the chocolate we saw at the basement stall. Dunno leh, I just feel that I haven't done a single thing that a guy should do, ie buy chocolate and ask girl out. In fact she has been doing those to me.

Talking about equality of sexes...



good coffee smile

I was kinda crazy yesterday, surfing the net and looking at coffee websites. Dunno why I just like to visit Japanese brands' sites, maybe cos whenever I go to supermarket and see those Japanese coffee, my heart would be melted. Very tempted to buy, but they ain't cheap. The Drip-on series by Key Coffee is really very tempting, but $6 for 5 packs.

So far what I know is in Singapore you can basically find 3 brands of Japanese coffee, namely Key Coffee, Ueshima Coffee Co (UCC), and Maxim Coffee by Ajinomoto General Food (AGF) If you watch enough Japanese anime you will know that UCC is famous for its canned coffee. Oh not forgetting Pokka, which sort of started the canned coffee revolution in 1972.


I like UCC's slogan a lot. "Good Coffee Smile". Simple yet to the point. Somehow the Japanese seems to take pride in drinking/selling coffee. Wait till I have money then I will get serious about coffee.



Monday, December 12, 2005

crow nest

There are a few crow nests on the tree behind my block. I think cos my mother has been saying "lay egg" so much that the crows really laid eggs and now it's hatched! I'm not sure of the number, but I can see a little creature in the nest opening its pink mouth whenever the big ones return with food.

I'm the only one in the house who didn't make a noise about it. My brother wants to notify the authority to clear away the nest, so he tried to snap photos of the nest plus the baby. Somehow the baby only shows its head when its parents are home, and somehow the parents are quite sensitive to the camera(or my brother). I think like all animals, the sensitivity and alertness increase when there is a newborn. So we didn't manage to snap any first photo for the baby.

The funny thing is, when I look, the big crows will stay put in the nest, so I can enjoy the view of the baby. But when it's my brother or my mother, they will fly away and look over from the roof of nearby blocks, then the baby will be out of sight inside the nest. The only reason I can think of is I always lean out of the window to look at the neighbourhood, so all the birdies are used to seeing me.

I don't quite understand why do people hate crows. It is not their fault to have black feathers, and the sound they make is basically, their voice! I do feel that some human beings are far more noisier than the crows. So do we use shotgun to shoot at noisy people?



Sunday, December 11, 2005

bass bumpers

ermm.. surely you have seen this froggy (crazy frog) on TV Mobile singing Dragostea Din Tei, haven't you?
Dunno whether I should feel irritated by the music or the freaky frog...



shuang lin monastery and 4D

Went to Shuang Lin Monastery @ Toa Payoh. My mother said this lunar year my father and brother 犯太岁 (some Chinese astrology thing, it is like people belonging to certain zodiac signs will face more difficulties in a particular year, but if you pray in the temple then you will be blessed), we prayed once at the beginning of the year, so now should sort of return the blessings. I still remember that time my brother couldn't be bothered and refused to offer the joss stick, and my mother told me to pray in his place... I was kind of pissed off, hello, if you can't be bothered about yourself, why should I be bothered about you? Your own well-being you want others to pray for you? Couldn't he just at least clasp his hands or something? Today he refused to offer joss stick as well. What's new. Christian who doesn't go church nor read bible nor pray...

I was standing at the bottom of the steps and observing the people. A lot of people were offering joss sticks to 2 horse statues. Guess what, on the horses there were lots of 4-digit numbers written on the body... I really don't like this. I mean fine, everyone wants to strike lottery, but why pray to gods and hope the number you buy will come out?? And why make a mess on the statues?? Why don't they write on the buddha statue as well? Maybe it's the tradition.. ok fine. But I'm sure the statues weren't there for graffiti. Afterall, how many people make a point to learn more about the gods they are praying to?

I'm a freethinker. I offer joss sticks twice daily. Ok sounds contradictory, but I do it cos I feel it is a tradition/custom that should be observed. The flame has to pass on, if not it will die out somewhere.

Somehow, I didn't pray for anything today...



Saturday, December 10, 2005

sorry seems to be the easiest word

Sorry Meder, I promised to climb with you the 25m/18m wall today but I didn't go.
Sorry Alex, I was late yesterday and made you wait.
Sorry Stephanie, I was petty and oversensitive and pissed you off.
Sorry......
Sorry...

Sorry, is there anything more apologetic than that 5-letter word?
It has been so overused that its true meaning has diluted.
Sorry no cure.
If sorry has use, what is the police for?


I've done so many bad things, is there a way to nullify all of them?
Sentencing myself to death?
Death, maybe people will forgive you for all the wrong things you have done, but you won't forgive yourself. You are not giving yourself a chance.
Chance, this is not like playing Monopoly.
Monopoly, if life is only as easy as it.

I am running away from it all. What's wrong with running away when you know you can't win head-on. A Greek verse says "He who flees will fight again"

Alex once told me, "Winners never quit, and Quitters never win. But those who never win and never quit, are just plain stupid"

I don't ask for forgiveness, I just want to apologize.



sorry seems to be the hardest word


This one is by Blue. Freak I can't find the one by Elton John...
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word



homing pig

Didn't go climbing today cos... Alex didn't go. And also I wanted to see how life would be if it is a little different from usual. Anyway my fingers did use strength today, helpping my mother carry stuffs from supermarket. -_-" yeah hairy porter... that's the term I call myself whenever I have to carry bags of things for her.

The Christmas long weekend is around the corner, and my mother seems keen to go somewhere for a holiday. So we went to look around the tour agencies for some package. I myself ain't keen on anything more than 1 day, cos I want to sleep at home. On top of that, I really love this safety zone aka Singapore. It's my home. I always feel disgusted with our neighbouring countries... sorry but that's words from my heart. Sometimes it seems ironic that an outdoor person doesn't want to go out of the comfort zone. We wanted to go 1D Kukup, but all the slots have been fully booked, so after some hestitation we decided on some 2D1N Putra Jaya. Later my brother pulled me to one side and lectured me about my lack of interest. Yes sir yes sir 3 bags full.... (he was an army officer anyway. Nevermind another story)

Later on my brother went off to meet his friends, so my mother and I went to Sheng Siong @ Tekka. Wow guess what, I saw Sheng Siong's boss!!! And what's more, he was arranging the goods on the shelves!! That's the kind of leadership style that I respect. A lot of the times when people rise up, they forget where they came from but rather enjoy the newly attained status/power/luxury/etc. Same as when politicians go to heartland to kiss hand shake baby.. i mean shake hand kiss baby. Somehow feel touched seeing Sheng Siong's boss working so hard. Oh by the way, Sheng Siong is selling a lot of Hello Kitty snacks. o^-^o

On the way back, it rained! It was so sunny in the morning, unbelievable. So my mother and I were stranded at the bus stop. As I looked at the rainy scene, I couldn't help thinking how cosy it would be if I didn't step out of home, then I wouldn't need to get myself wet.

Andre Gide said, "One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time" But why must I go and discover new lands when I'm happy with my own shore?

See? I'm easily satisfied.



mpo farewell bbq

Last night we had a farewell barbecue session at East Coast for our old boss Manpower Officer Major(NS) Leong. It was happy to see some old faces and of course not so happy to see some baskets faces. Somehow there were a few new faces that I have never seen, probably new members to the branch. New DyMPO, new RnD Spec, new Recruit Section Spec.

When Alex and I reached, there was this immediate pissing off feeling cum glad-to-see-you feeling. Glad to see people whom you have worked closely with, pissed off to see some stupid newbies saying naive things. Actually it was that guy called Chan, another stupid Hongkonger. I was trying to socialise with the newbie when he said something like "Who are you? Orh chao chee bye!" What the freak.... Who are you in the first place? I finished NS you also wasn't in the branch lor... Somehow I have this "play-old-bird" mentality, which may explain why I don't like Jason Tan. It is like you newbie come into the branch want to act like you are war veteran... how would the authentic old birds feel?

At least I feel glad that Recruit Section doesn't have any of those baskets. I feel very proud to have been part of the section, cos I always feel the Rect Sect is the most dynamic section in the Manpower Branch, able to really create miracles and etc.

Oopz, why am I babbling about my "glorious" past? Anyway they all damn bad, no one chatted with Haslan. The fact that he is the only non-Chinese in the branch means the more everyone should make him feel at home. But then he is finishing his NS soon, so nevermind. Caught up with Chief, she jokingly blamed me for not giving her sons tuition. Err.. I myself is drowning and you still want me to save someone?? Hmm Seong Per finally finished NS and is now in Mindef. Come to think of it, are Seong Per and Alex my understudies? Not that it matters anymore. One is a Master in Engineering, another is a Bachelor, how to be my understudies?

MPO gave Tan Chee Wei, Xiao Bai and me a lift. Somehow I always find it funny that as a person who doesn't know how to drive, I find myself always navigating for the driver... "from Paya Lebar Rd go PIE then CTE, no no no in front keep right..." Empty vessel...



mpo farewell bbq photos

As usual, the photos before the text... Thanks Alex for the photos, since a stupid freak aka Chow brought a camera with flat batteries.

Manpower Branch super old birds: (front)Ms Doris, Chief Clerk, Samson, MPO; (back) Zhong Hua, Jason Chung, Wee Leong, Lame Zai, Jeffrey


Middle birds


New birds


3 generations of Recruit Section. Trust me I wasn't using my middle finger on Xiao Bai. (Back)Jason, Hong Rong Hong, Eric(?), Alex, Seong Per. (front) Lame Zai, Xiao Bai


3 generations of Manpower Branch.


Another one.




 
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