fear of death

I don't usually express my fear of death so openly. (come on, how many of us really aren't afraid of death?)

Edwin was asking if I'm climbing this week, cos he will be bringing a few of his Australian friends to climb. Alex is not climbing this week, Meder is in Myanmar, Nicholl can't really count her in, ermm... I am just a little concerned cos there ain't enough belayers around.

So Edwin was trying to assure me that he knows how to belay. He said that he has climbed with me so many times already, etc etc. Come to think of it, I think I don't need one hand to count the number of times he had climbed with us. Oh I still can remember that time he was laughing at some secondary school kid crying on the wall, then just a few minutes later Edwin told me he didn't know how to tie the figure of 8 knot. -_-"

I dunno, I just don't quite like the phrase "so many times" as a reason/assurance. If go by counting I think I have climbed with Alex for quite some time, or even with Meder and Nicholl, but still I won't say it's many times. It is like if you fully know your climber's habbit, he/she doesn't need to speak a word and you also know what is his/her next move, then maybe it is more appropriate to say it. Anyway after that time's climbing accident at the 25m wall, I am more cautious.

What I'm concerned with is my own life! Edwin and his friends I can belay, so no issue with their lifes, but who will belay me?? Hmm... maybe I should be the belay slave then. =P Nevermind.. we shall see.

(Oh I know Edwin is reading this, hahaha so it is not talking behind his back. I am just trying to save him the trouble of feeling guilty when I fall off the wall. Think I should settle him on the ground)