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Friday, September 30, 2005

great pretender

Let me recall...
Yesterday I was walking up from the canteen when I met QX near the top of the staircase. Childishly I pointed at her face and said "hahaha pimple!!" (she had one on her right cheek) I must have spoiled her day cos there were people around, peak hr for lunch! So... I quickly SMSed her to say that I was only joking. Her reply was "sigh! last time, u said i gained weight. now my face. when will guys stop focusing on appearance?" So for the rest of yesterday I was bugging her, doing my best to apologise. The shocking thing is, it was one year ago when I commented about her gaining weight... whoopz!

Today... was having lunch with my lecture clique when Kai Hui and her guy friends came to the table beside us. I didn't say hi to her as I was not sure how her bf would react, and there was something about her expression. Jack spotted it too, and I noticed him keep looking at Kai Hui. (Jack didn't know I know her.. aw I'm so good at pretending)
So when her guy friends went off to buy food and my clique also went off to buy food, I asked Kai Hui if she is okay, and she told me she flopped her Material Science test. (it would be stupid to ask her if she is ok in the presence of her bf right?) I asked her what is the weightage, and with tears she said 40%. I think I only consoled her briefly as the guys were returning.
Then halfway through the bites our clique talked about test... I was so worried that Kai Hui would have caught the word "test" from our loud voice.. but.... there wasn't much I could do but to pretend nothing's happened.
Kai Hui's gang left before us, and she said bye to me before leaving. (that kind of exposed me..) So curiously I asked Jack why he looked at her with that face, and he said she looked as though someone owed her big time... hahaha.. well.....

Hmm.. somewhere in the chat Tiong Chuan was saying those who looks damn happy/cheerful will actually blow up the most horrible. Then he was saying within our clique of 4, I look like that kind of person......
Well....... maybe?



who moved my cheese??? (I mean coffee)

Arghhh.....!
Who moved my coffee!?!?! (I know who.. but god bless him/her)
But what I know for sure is, coffee drinker can stand tea, but tea drinker MAY not stand coffee.. muhahaha...
but still, ARGHH I want my coffee back!

In case you don't know what I'm babelling about, yesterday I was happily ordering the best coffee in NUS, the Techno Edge coffee (crap, it is just ENG/SDE canteen coffee). I happily filled my paper cup to the brink, went to the counter to make payment... then I was digging and digging for coins (60cents).. and finally I got the coins out! Happily paid the aunty and she handed me the innocent looking paper cup complete with sophiscated cover and carrying handle (crap, just a plastic cover and a plastic strap!)

So.. I happily made my way with Jack to the forum concourse to revise for our test... settled down on a strategically located bench..... sip sip... WHAT THE HELL, how on earth did my coffee transform itself into tea?!?

But still.... it tasted helluva better than the Science canteen tea.



Thursday, September 29, 2005

love in a doggy bag

Thursday.
I didn't "bump" into her today. (sound so weird. Deliberate or coincidental?)
She must be on that bus that I missed by a few dozen seconds.
Or was she on the bus behind?
The point is, I didn't see her today.
I can only "bump" into her on Thursday and Friday.

What I'm talking about is a school girl from St Margaret Secondary School. Since my first lesson is at 8am on Thursday and Friday, I will clash with school kids on my way to NUS. I started to notice her the second time I saw her on the same bus 74. Without fail, she would be seated at the lower deck near the back of the bus, and so do I. And we alight at the same bus stop along Bukit Timah Road.

She doesn't look pretty, but I just find her interesting. She has that neatly pinned hair that looks kind of attractive. There was once when I boarded the bus and was moving towards the back of the bus, she was looking at me with big widened eyes! Do I resemble some Japanese anime monsters with long limps? Another time I saw her popping some medicine into her mouth... must be sick....

No no, I'm not fantasizing in case you are thinking along that line.

Something for you to ponder: imagine you board a bus with free choice of seats, would you want to sit in front of a pretty girl (so that she can spot you/notice you/observe you) or would you choose to sit behind her (so that you can observe her)? Or would you just don't take the pretty girl into consideration when choosing the seat?

Romantic bus rides only appear in Japanese dramas...



quote of the day

Just write with passion, and we will mark with compassion.
--- Associate Professor Tan Ern Ser, Facualty of Arts and Social Science, NUS



Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Lunchbox: Love Songs with a Twist!


hahaha as promised, I went to the Esplanade today to watch Timmy's concert~! Oh I intended to skip/swap Physics tutorial class today, but happened that the lecturer hasn't finished teaching the new topic, so the tutorial is pushed backward to next week.. haha no need to skip~

Hmm Grace is having her holiday, so I asked her out as well~ I was so surprised that the Esplanade Concert Hall was so full!! Hmm... most of the audience were white collars, so.... we were kinda like oddballs.. hahaha!

Timmy (actually is a band name, has 4 members) performed a few songs, Love Me, Drops of Jupiter and Leaving on a Jet Plane, etc... Although it was just a 30 minutes lunch time concert, but it was really great~! haha feel so glad that I didn't miss it! I must be mad about performance art...

After the concert chatted with Grace for quite long.... hoho I always believe that everyone has something for me to learn from.

Ok I'm going off for bouldering. Remember, it is Tuesday... Chalkday!! I'm already suffering from climbing-withdrawal syndrome.... I need to touch some handholds!!! (machiam like drug addict.. luckily is chalk ball not peh hoon)



『吵架』也是一種溝通

*leeched from chillicrap.com , found it interesting and wanna share*

我們常常認為會跟一個人吵架一定是跟他感情不好,我們
常跟家人吵架,最常跟情人吵架,最會跟好朋友吵架。想
想,we often quarrel with people who are very close to us.

有時候我們會說『算了』,或者『不說了』,這兩句話其
實都是殺傷力很強的話,代表著你不想把你的想法跟他說
,不想讓對方瞭解你,也代表你們的感情會停留在訽地。


有時兩個人吵到說了一句話『我是為你好』;在感情的世
界裡,每個人都很自私,有人常會對你說『我是為你好』
,這其實是很不負責任的說法, 因為我們會把自己的觀念加諸在別人身上,為他人決定一
些事,但是再想想,對對方來說,你的方法真的好嗎?

你為他決定事情,但是要負責的人卻是他,這是很不公平
的,唯有他才能決定什麼是對自己最好,若是錯誤的決定
也才不會有埋怨,也才能對自己負責。

之前陶子在節目中說:"每個人天生就是不一樣"...這句話讓我突然領悟了很多事...

因為不一樣~自然而然每個人的perspectives/viewpoints not the same.. 不要怪別人不夠懂你~換個立場~actually我們也不敢說自
己有多了解人家..
"無聲" 是一種無形的、最遠的距離,若能從吵架中表達出自己的
想法~ 總比大家把話悶在心裡都不說出來的好,但千萬要避免在
衝動時說出傷害對方的言語有些話~一旦說出口~就很難收
回了....... God bless you.

朋友可以說是一個避風港 卻也是穇覆人生的大海
朋友可以是一個高山 卻也會崩塌
朋友有時候就像一薄薄的玻璃 輕輕的一敲就碎裂
朋友可以是心靈的捕手 卻也是補抓夢想的惡魔
朋友有時候就像是天使呵護著我們 卻在黑暗的時分化身惡魔狠狠的捅你一刀
朋友有時候可以深交 有時候我們卻會看錯人
朋友可以相信 但不一定她對你忠實
朋友真的有好有壞 卻總會有一定的時候 背叛你...除非 你是他真的好朋友

有時候有人會sacrifice 朋友
有時候有人會protect 朋友
有時候有人會abandon 朋友


人有很多種 交到的朋友也很多
只是我們永遠都不知道 自己的朋友究竟屬於哪一種 category
非要摔的悽慘一次 才知道 有些人不可信

願意跟你吵架的人,才是真正想瞭解你的人。

*so, what do you think?*



Monday, September 26, 2005

Sakae Sushi!!!

let me backtrack until Saturday...
I had Statics test on Saturday afternoon (weird timing) and at night, went to Sakae Sushi at Junction 8 for dinner with family~!!

So excited~!! That was my first time eating at Sakae.. hahaha! Actually it was because my brother redeemed a $30 voucher from his debit card, that's why suddenly went there.

Hmm... $30, each colour plate of sushi is at $1.90, red plate at $5.90, so I suggested we eat 15 colour plates..

The sushi were quite nice~ maybe because I very seldom have the chance to eat sushi, that's why I found it exciting! haha like a little kid like that.
And the wasabi.. how I wish I can swallow one tube of it before every test, then the pipe/wire/channel/whatever-you-call-it connecting to my brain will be all unblocked, then I can answer all the questions!! (something like the Seed mode in Gundam Seed)

Not bad for dinner, with my brother topping up $3 on top of the voucher.



Friday, September 23, 2005

"put down your pants and stop writing"

hohoho... hot and spicy news....
Physics quiz is over. And I know I didn't do fantastically well ("fantastically" is a redundant word here). One hour to complete 15 MCQs, of which I answered 8. But there was this serious blunder in my exam strategy. I should have just taken my pick when the Prof said "1 more minute". 20% chance is better than a blank, unshaded oval right?

Anyway, was kinda horrible, I was the first in my row in the hall of dunno how many thousands. Haha there was this nice looking girl sitting to my right, but...... out of point!

Oh afterall there is something I learned~ while going back, I decided to take a walk with Wei Chuan to the previous bus stop, knowing that the bus stop nearest to the exam hall would be super crowded. We were right! I managed to get a seat, and when the bus reached the stop outside Yusoff Ishak House, the sight was horrible... it was like people protesting on the street of HK or Seoul!! (do you call them mob?) And the bus was packed like sardine can in no time.

守株待兔? (Chinese idiom: stand beside the tree and wait for the rabbit) Hmm not quite good at applying it, if not I wouldn't be single now.
Out of point.



rush to relax, relax to rush

First you rush to relax, then you relax to rush.
Not really, but nearly.

Today went to University Cultural Centre to catch a music performance by Presbyterian Ladies' College of Melbourne. How to rush? The performance was at 1pm, my tutorial ended at 12, had lunch with Jack, then went to the show with Hong Jun. Then the performance ended at 2pm, and my Physics lecture started at 2pm. Luckily the UCC is just across the road from LT7A, so didn't really rush much. But, the idea is there.

To be exact I am not a die hard fan of classical music (i.e. I have no idea what is G minor or the difference between philharmonic and chamber music) but I like performance art. I am still deciding whether I should skip my Tuesday tutorial to attend a lunchtime performance at the Esplanade.

Surprisingly majority of the performers are Asians! And I believe the audience was mainly their parents/relatives. That made us the oddballs in a sea of old people. (must be wondering what are this 2 kids doing...) Anyway, at a sidenote, the girls look quite different from local girls.. maybe more like Hong Kong girls... Yes and there was one who looks like Nikki.. hahaha! (it only shows, the Creator did reuse the moulds)

Anyway, later at 6pm I'll be having my first test since my A level...(those test I took in OCS ain't counted..) What a long day for me... 8am to 8pm...
Nervous? No. When you have no expectation, what is there to lose?

(*p/s I've removed the chatter box cos it is the root of the pop-ups. Freaking hell just now gave me AdultFriendFinder advertisement, and I'm in SCHOOL!)



Wednesday, September 21, 2005

following the Great Leader

let's be honest, I have zero mood to study during this mid term break, so might as well post some intellectual stuffs.

Ok this one will be about Christianity. No right or wrong answer, just opinions. I've always thought that once a Christian, always a Christian. But recently I've found something interesting:

Kim's father was a Christian... [He] attended a school founded by missionaries, and later attended church regularly; he was also a church organist. He taught [his son] Kim Il Sung to be an organist as well, and the boy attended church throughout his teens. "I, too, was interested in church," he once wrote, but later "I became tired of the tedious religious ceremony and the monotonous preaching of the minister, so I seldom went," although he acknowledged receiving a great deal of humanitarian assistance from Christians. Still, after taking power, Kim completely wiped out Christianity from his country, keeping a couple of churches for show but staffing them with actors and actresses to impress foreign visitors with his tolerance.
---Kristoff (2005)

Not trying to say that Christianity is like a claw that doesn't let go, but it is rare to find people who opt out from Christianity. Usually the population of Christians will grow at an exponential rate, ie your girl friend is Christian, she will want you to be Chiristian too; your parents are Christians, chances are you and your siblings will be Christians; your son is a Christian, he will ask you to become Christian. (did I just discover a progression that grows faster than exponential?)

Was chatting with Amy and Grace about Christianity as well, about lust, about going to church.. Amy agreed that Christians nowadays are doing things that are quite un-Christians, while Grace herself just goes to church but not the devoted type.

Going church to know more girls, gambling, drinking and getting drunk, are all these expected of Christians?
I dunno. Anyway hope the police won't be arresting me for this entry...



Monday, September 19, 2005

who let the chalks out, who! who! who!

Imagine Monday with zer0 Monday blues.. Just because it is mid term break~!
In the morning, I had Critical Thinking group discussion with Rizwan and Ameet at 10am. I was leaving home when I saw Jensen's sms: "want to go and climb somewhere?" The magic word that starts with ' c' and ends with 'b' seems to have some sort of chemical reaction started inside me.

The IPC summit ended a bit past 12pm, and I rushed home to take my shoes and chalkbag (reached home at 1pm), grab a $2.30 sandwiches from the 7 Eleven downstair, and met up with Jensen at the bus stop at 1.30pm. Climbing has made me so crazy that I could skip lunch... Although Jensen told me to relax, I just rushed the timing so as to maximise the time we have for climbing.

We went to Climb Adventure. Being the giam kanas (singlish, miser) who use bus concession, we decided to take bus 130 to Tanjong Pagar. When we reached there, there was only one group of school kids doing fun climb conducted by Amir himself.. (wow.. national coach taking care of kids..) Jensen did ask the others from our NUS climbing clique to come, but...... I'm the only response.

Jensen has a pair of climbing shoes!! Wow... and it was birthday present from his friends~ so envious!! The Anazasi has its initiation ceremony today.. muhahaha..

We only bouldered today since Jensen prefers bouldering. We tried the numbered route and the cross route. I must agree Jensen is a stronger boulderer than me, his finger grip is stronger, his endurance is stronger... but there were parts of routes that he couldn't do but surprisingly I could~ usually I solve those problems using sit-in... so fun! There was one part I sat in, my body was almost horizontal, but still sticking to the wall! (and Jensen was looking in awe)

Then those kids occasionally crashed onto the mattress trying to do wrestling, and followed by some scoldings from their teacher.. haha.. I don't blame them, since I enjoy the feeling of lying on the mat and looking at the routes. And, I still land with a loud bang whenever I fall off.

We got bored with the bouldering wall, so we moved on to boulder at the big walls. We set some sadist routes (real sadist, either disgusting or far holds), and ended up panting.

At least I 've covered up what I will miss this Saturday.



Saturday, September 17, 2005

lead-climbed!!

wow. I completed my lead climb for the first time today~!!

Hmm was kinda funny, supposedly Nichole was coming as well, but..... she blamed it on Alex for not giving the morning call! Well.... that is their problem, but for today our group only had Alex and me.

Lead climb was enough to drain my energy, but the feeling was great~ Personal breakthroughs are always great. But I pity those queueing behind us, cos I rested so many times up the wall.
One sentence: Lead climb is scary! And when something is scary, it adds to the thrill~ It is like, when I went pass the previous runner, you realize that you are no longer in a top-rope system.
Even typing this blog now, my palms are getting sweaty~ where is my chalk bag?? (just kidding)

But nevertheless, personal achievement!!



table for 7

Last night was happening.
Had dinner with old comrades from Manpower Branch. Chee Wei, Tong, Jason, Seong Per, Kenneth and Wee Leong. The previous time I met them was 3 months ago when I was still working at HP. (for Kenneth it has been more than a year, in Tekong)

The place is called Victor's Café: Galateria: Restaurant, at Center Stage, Marina Square. The food wasn't that bad, I ordered linguine. Don't know why but just feel like eating pasta whenever I'm dining out with friends.

Chee Wei's daughter is 7 months old now, can manage to lean against the wall (and shout "help help the wall is falling)
Tong just came back from Switzerland last Saturday, so was pretty lucky to catch hold of him. He and his girl friend are quite steady~
Jason is still working in the German company.
Splee is the most happening. HAAAHAAAA he changed girlfriend!! Dunno what happened between him and his girl in UK, but his current girlfriend is really shocking to both me and Tong. Hmm.. but it kind of shows that long-d relationship is hard to maintain and duration is not a factor deciding break-ups. Anyway, hope that is was a happy break.
Kenneth... he was having that constipated look cos I made him walk from the Treasury to Marina Square. Me and Wee Leong kept making jokes on him.
Wee Leong is still with his network company. He is planning to take up courses at UNISIM.
And there is Chow, who is as usual, the youngest within the group, and the only student present. Basket all the other undergrads must be busy clubbing.

Wee Leong was very eager to order beer. But there was this competition at the restaurant, called the Mind Match, in which if you can complete the puzzle under 5 minutes, you can win a jug of beer. So, there we go showing the power of Manpower. 4 vs 3, Recruit Section vs the rest. Not sure if the 2 PSC matters, we did it in 3+ minutes whereas the other team did in 4+.

We were happily expecting 2 jugs of beer when the manager played stunt and said it had to be individual effort. Well... so we were saying, ok we all go and win them 7 jugs individually. But surprise surprise, more brains are really better than one. SP couldn't solve it (WL was saying cos SP's mind doesn't have Calsberg), Jason couldn't, Chee Wei couldn't, Wee Leong himself couldn't.

I had been observing the pattern from behind for a while, and decided to give it a try. 2 minutes! And I broke the record timing. Wow.... I got into semi-final (yeah right, as if I will really go back and play again another day.)
NUS Pride!

We shared the beer among ourselves, and Wee Leong finally got his sip of beer.



Friday, September 16, 2005

sipping coffee and talking crap

Nice, slow Friday afternoon.
By right my lecture ends at 4 pm on Friday. But today is Engineering Day, so all afternoon lessons are cancelled.
By right there are activities. But I can't be bothered.
By right I am meeting SQ for dessert this afternoon at 4:30pm. But he has something on last minute.

So, here I am, at home, sipping coffee, chatting with people, blogging.
Oh, recently I've gotten worse. I have run out of coffee and just bought a pack of Nescafe 3 in 1 Intense. I used to drink the Rich and Regular versions, but the Intense is really something. My mother was saying why no creamer inside. There is.

Argh pure indulgence~! Blame it on Seong Per for making me a caffeine addict from all those "regardings" sessions.

this entry will be pure crap since I'm waiting for 7pm to come: manpower branch alumni meeting.

Recently my mother was complaining about my MSN sound. In case you guys don't know, I've turned off the MSN online alert sound for some reason (so when you come online, I won't be notified), and I've changed the standard message tone to a chime, so that it sounds more soothing to the ears. And you know what my mother said? She said it sounds like that "now serving" chime at polyclinic. Well.. actually I got the inspiration from the polyclinic, so....

The reason why I turned off the online alert was related to Nikki. I was so mentally split up that whenever someone came online, I would thought that it was Nikki and my heart would really skip a beat. I can't be having dozens over roller coaster rides in a day, can I? I'll probably die of heart attack in front of the computer screen!
Well, now that it has been over so long ago, I still haven't changed back the setting. Maybe I've gotten used to the silence from my MSN (minus the polyclinic chime of cos.. haha)

Wow, one cup of Nescafe is just nice for one blog.



Thursday, September 15, 2005

"Who else is going"

It has been around 3 months since I last met up with people from Manpower Branch as a big group. As this week is NTU's mid term break and next week is NUS's turn, so I was thinking this Friday is a good timing to organize a gathering. I feel that to be successful one needs to take the plunge. It will be kind of sad if we let chances slip away, and who knows when will be the next gathering.

So I happily started SMSing everyone last night. Surprise surprise, it is the undergrads that are not free and on the contrary, the working people are free and enthusiastic about the gathering!! Hey if that is the case I could have just fixed it on any other day on the calendar instead of purposely putting it close to our school holiday.

And without fail, the question "who else is going" appeared. Even lame people who are not going asked that question!! Not so much about peer pressure, but does the decision of your peers affect your own decision so badly?? I'm not pissed, but this question really sounds pissing. So if A says he will only go if B is going, and B says likewise, then are they both going or not going?? Not trying to prove anything, but I've only asked that question when we were on the ground waiting for everyone to turn up. Surely you don't see me asking who's coming to climb before the day itself, do you? I thought Tong would be sensitive enough than to ask that question, but while chatting with him and Weeleong last night, he asked me in MSN!! So I asked, why leh? He said, to find out if I'm bringing my girl friend along. LAME COVER-UP!

And some just couldn't be bothered. You think silence really means consent? Wrong. I bugged Alvin in MSN and only then he reflected that he is not available. I bugged Zhonghua in the NUS IVLE and only then he shot me an unrelated question about bursary before telling me he's not free. Come on earthlings, is it really so difficult to punch a few keys just to say Yes/No? How many joules of energy will it cost you??

What's the use of feeling pissed off when you are supposed to be happy.
Nevermind. I can still look forward to seeing the enthusiatic few.



not everything has to be practical

*some more overdue stale craps*

It's Thursday and I'm still thinking of what went on on Tuesday...

In the afternoon, Maths lab. How lame it is, lab for maths. The most lame thing was, we went there, didn't need to take attendance, no instruction or what-so-ever, and no lab report to be handed in. So we were playing with this programme called MATLAB which can plot graphs. At least we learn something although there was no actual objective for the session. Kai Hui was so funny, kept comparing her formulas with mine. And the reason why she sat next to me was because she forgot to bring her contact lenses. Weird, she was sitted in the front row, but shifted to my row (which was one row behind). Isn't it further away from the whiteboard?? Oh.. she wanted me to tell her what was written on the board. Lame.

Tuesday=Chalkday, but I didn't go for bouldering 'cos I had to rush some homework. Ended up, the homework was not needed for that particular Sociology tutorial class on Wednesday. Argh! I sacrificed bouldering for useless effort! Now feeling a bit guilty, cos didn't join my clique for bouldering, but then I realise by doing "extra" homework, it kind of forced me to understand the concept better.

Ring ring... Kai Hui called me? Wow.. asked me for Physics question~ quite a weird feeling though. Has been a long time since someone called and ask about homework. Reminds me of the time when I taught Pauline how to do Further Maths question during first 3 months in J1, and discussing English and Maths with Nikki just a couple of months ago.

The difference is, there WAS something more to it for Pauline and Nikki.
Looks like someone is learning~



Wednesday, September 14, 2005

encounter of a different kind

I have been having strange encounters lately. Last week I just met 2 juniors within 2 consecutive days. This week I met 2 old classmates within 2 consecutive days.

I was looking for a seat on the upper level of bus 74 on Monday when I saw this girl.. hmm... looks like Sirui.. but I couldn't confirm. So I just grabed a seat (conincidentally just in front of hers) and sat through the whole bus journey quietly.
Sirui was my JC classmate. There was a time there were rumours flying around saying I dropped Chemistry because of her. What the hell~! Firstly, I dropped Chemistry before her, so if it was true, it must be she dropping Chemistry for me. Secondly, why should I disturb my future because of a girl whom I don't like?? (again, not that I don't like her, just that I don't hate her, so I love the whole world. See the connection?)

Tuesday. Almost the same latitude and longtitude on the map. I saw Zhiwen at the bus stop while waiting for bus 74 (again) Yes yes we boarded the same bus (again), and this time round there can't be any mistake, he IS Zhiwen.
Zhiwen and I were Sec 1 Sec 2 classmates. Hmm.. what to say......... I sat through the bus journey quietly.(again)

Just can't help thinking, is the big wheel of history revolving? Or am I just creating history?
No, I ain't that great.



lose some, gain some

*sorry have to offer backdated craps. Eat fresh, but when you can't eat fresh, eat stale.*

Monday... I was originally meeting Alvin for dinner as he was supposed to come down to NUS for a meeting with his Achilles people. Then during lecture I received a SMS from Alvin,
"Chow, change of plans. I cant go down to nus tdae"
"Then how? Police case liao leh."

Didn't ask him for reason. I mean, of course he had his reason for not being able to turn up. It's all about trust. Trust! But anyway later at night he called me and said that there were things cropping up last minute (ah duh!) So, I had dinner at home. Actually brother was supposed to be cooking dinner (it is NTU term break this week) but somehow last minute he had dinner with his classmate (and I wasn't informed until mother came back) but nevertheless I cooked his share...

When mother came back, she was like, "so good, I thought I have to eat dinner alone tonight" Okay, I always have this tendency to come home out of the blue. During army times there were occasions when I went home during weekdays and kind of surprised my family. And after army, there were times when my friends last minute change of plan, then there goes my dinner outside..

But at least, mother didn't have to eat alone.
Alvin, I know you are not reading this blog, but still, you owe me one dinner... muahahaha!



Sunday, September 11, 2005

love hate tragedy

no no this is not about myself, nor is it about dear Paparoach. Please I don't even know how the album is like.

Recently I came across a few articles about some relationship problem, from PH's blog and from the forum. Maybe I should say it is a phenomenon rather than problem, but my brain cells have been itchy for quite a while wanting to blog this down.

This is how it goes: A and B are lovers. B meets a new guy C and dumps A.

Second one: A and B are lovers. B meets a new guy C. B wants both A and C. C knows about A but A doesn't know about C.

Third one: A and B are lovers. B meets a new guy C and dumps A. C dumps B. A doesn't want B anymore. B gets nothing in the end.

Fourth one: A and B are about to get married, just counting down for the wedding day to come. Suddenly B marries another guy C.
-_-"

Of course there are more examples out there.
What do these phenomena show? From a sociology point of view, it shows that people are placing more and more emphasis on relationship. "... an increased determination to make it a rewarding and satisfying relationship" (Anthony Giddens, 2001) But... come on, it is like how people call it "mental masturbation", i.e. trying to make yourself feel good by looking for logical but not necessarily true explaination.

Let's look at more views from people with regards to relationship.


The only way to make the one you love happy is by living your life more happily than her. because only when you are happier than her, will you be able to spread your happiness to her
--- Wilson



In a relationship one side has to sacrifice more than the other.
--- Alex



Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool. Loving both of you, is breaking all the rules
--- Mary McGregor (ok this one is out of point)

So, what do you say?



Saturday, September 10, 2005

from chilli crab to chalky lobster


*damn it I almost finished the blog when my computer crashed and rebooted on its own. Now I have to rewrite the entry. Screw Bill Gates!

ARGH! Both Alex and me have been lobsterised! More pink than pink dolphin, more red than chilli. LOBSTERS!

Today's climb was damn happening. In the morning we climbed with Nichole, YongHui (and his friend, forgot his name) and GuiHai. Then in the afternoon we climbed with KaiFong, WeiQing and Amos. Kinda like climbing in shifts.
On top of that, we saw some familar faces. Bernard &Co, Corrine and First Toa Payoh Sec, and Kareen~

Alex insisted on me learning how to do lead belay. And Bernard &Co gave me a lot of tips and pointers on lead belaying. Really feel grateful to them. Climbers (some..) are so selfless~

Nichole brought along Tiger (it's a dog, not a tiger -_-") and attracted quite a lot of attention from the climbers. There were times when they were climbing and I helpped look after Tiger, and the kids would crowd around to play with it. Not a bad idea to attract girls huh~ Still remember the scene when YongHui was holding on to Tiger outside the office when Tiger peed on the floor. Then YongHui got some of the urine on his hand and was looking for solution, then I handed a piece of the indemnity form to him and he quickly used it to wipe his hands, glancing around at the same time. Evil me....=)

Only managed to clear yellow inclined, which is only a consolation for me since I have seconded it before. GuiHai seemed to feel a little out of place, maybe because he doesn't know us well. Or is he as quiet normally?

I think we start to become closer to the First Toa Payoh climbers. We share the problems, listen to their gossip.. There is this climber girl who really looks like Nikki. Dunno why I have the urge to want to know her. Alex was asking me "Har? You like this kind one ah?" Speechless.

Among our group of climbers, I'm the youngest, the school kid among working adults. This brings up the image of a little kid running around the legs of adults. (just like that cute Japanese boy today. Not trying to say I'm cute though)Very funny, Alex told me to call Kareen 大姐, then Amos told me to call WeiQing 姐姐. Ermm.. should I go over and tell the First Toa Payoh guys to call me Kor Kor?

Very funny, Alex thanked me at the end of the climb for staying back with KaiFong &Co. I mean, how would they feel if they haven't started climbing and everyone else had already disappeared, less Alex. And I had already in mind having lunch with them. Afterall I have nothing on for the afternoon. Argh! Why am I finding reasons for something that need not have any reason?

Now these Saturday madness seem to be a routine.
Great. I've found life at last.



Friday, September 09, 2005

my dear juniors/seniors

Wow~ consecutively met 2 of my ODAC juniors these 2 days~

Yesterday after Sociology lecture ended, I was discussing the research with my group, then I saw a girl who looks like Huimin walking out of the LT.. I called out her name and she responded~! Haha luckily didn't call wrong person. So after a bit of formality, she went off and I continued with my discussion.

Then on the way towards the bus stop, I met Patrick head on and I crapped loudly.. then a head turned and look at me.. Huimin!! What coincidence! This is the second time of me meeting someone twice in a day (the first was QX). She was taking 151 as well, so we chatted throughout the bus journey. She's in year 2 majoring Sociology, so was kinda weird that she is attending lecture with us newbie... hmm we chatted about how her batch of ODACians are now, I'm so surprised and touched that she brought up what happened during AB Camp! What happened was someone here was that super nice instructor who cared a lot for his juniors, stood up for his group and consoled them when the group was scolded unjustly... etc etc... (of cos I still remember)I was so touch that she dropped off one stop later just to chat with me longer!!

Today.... met Kaiyin while changing bus. Yes, another ODACian junior, and now a TeamNUS climber, got into final for dunno which climbing competition. Power~! Yes she's the one who was asked to teach her senior how to boulder.. -_-" Haha she was surprised that I still remember she lives near me~ (a couple of blocks away)She's now majoring Social Work, year 2 of course.

When the bus went pass KAP, she told me she wanted to take a nap, and asked me to wake her up when I alight. (so funny~, what a request! hahaha) and soon she was asleep.. in a very funny posture.. left hand on the railing in a lock-off position and head resting on the left arm. Then occasionally her grip went loose and her head rocked! hahaha.. actually I was very fearful that she might have rested her head on my shoulder.. hmmm implications... No NO! (*slap myself awake*)

Although Huimin and Kaiyin were from the same batch of ODAC, but both are so different in character. Kaiyin and I have few common topics, other than climbing which she kept psychoing me to join either the team or the committee. Whereas Huimin seem to be more chatty with me. Maybe impressions from 3 years ago do make a difference.

I don't feel like their senior/instructor, cos I'm their friend. Well, sort of.
(I still keep a note book with their words of encouragement/reflections.)



Thursday, September 08, 2005

Sweet~!!!

*Ok was supposed to blog this yesterday, but I was too tired with Statics so I'm blogging it now.

Yesterday I was doing Physics at the Block EA lobby, facing the 2 busiest lifts in Engineering Facualty. Suddenly there was this girl running from the glass door after the lift.. and she got it! I was staring in awe.. and her body shape looked familiar... Once she was inside, she saw my stunned look as well.. It's QX!! haha she waved at me from inside the lift as the doors closed.. so SWEET~!

That reminds me of what happened during one of my family's visit to her house. I was obediently sitting at the sofa like any good little kid is expected to behave. Then QX pulled me into her room, claiming she had some Chinese homework wanted to ask me. Once inside her room she closed the door behind..!!! I was like.... what the... (I think that should have stunned my parents as well) And she was saying things like "you scare I eat you up is it?"
*nod nod*

On Tuesday I received a reply to my teacher's day email from Mrs Yeong (my Sec 3 English teacher) ... I was so happy!
This is how it goes:

So good to hear from you. Thanks for your message, Siu Hang. As I craft this message, I start to recall how you look. Hope you find great fulfilment in your new phase in life.

Mr & Mrs Yeong

P.S. Catch Mr Yeong on TV's 'Crossfire' next Mon night if you are free.

You don't need a lot of words to make someone happy.



Tuesday, September 06, 2005

a hold too far

yes yes, today is Tuesday.. Chalkday!
I went down to the rock gym slightly later than usual, cos of the tedious Physics lab session. People were right about the lab session being so troublesome. It is like those who had it in the morning skipped lectures just to finish the report. Mine was in the afternoon, so the only thing left for me to skip is dinner, and climbing.

At last, today there were no team climbers around!! Heehee member's night~. Hmm I managed to reach tile 23 on the tsunami wall... one step closer to end hold! All the while we were teasing Youjie about the girl in the climbing club that he has been "socialising" with... hmm but that girl ignored him tonight and when on to play with her gang, so must have been hard on him .. hahaha! The 5 of us seem to be the biggest jokers around... laugh the loudest, fall the hardest.

Feel kinda sad about myself. I'm supposed to be the most "experienced" climber among the 5. But there are a lot of routes that the 4 can perform and I can't. Miraculously some fragments of routes they can't clear but I can clear and teach them!! Well..... weird weird....

I was trying and trying a part on the inclined wall... try and fall and try and fall.... and it wasn't low, so everytime I fell, the feeling of falling in mid air was there! And without fail I would land flat on my back, making that big loud BANG, or if I feel jumpy, I would do a back roll (and end up next to the legs of females.. ahem) ermm.. coincidentally the radio was playing the song that goes "..bang bang..."

Then just one more try and I sprained my wrist.. I can't believe it I sprained my right wrist while falling, and it wasn't from the impact, but rather somehow my right hand was holding on to the tile when I fell...

If I could run with a foot fracture, what makes you think I can't climb with a sprained wrist?



Monday, September 05, 2005

India Pakistan China summit

Monday.... can almost feel the blue the moment you remind yourself it is Monday...
I thought today would be another lousy day for me, but the sweet smile from Liqin on the bus definitely cheered me up a bit. Kinda envy them when I first knew that she and YuLiang went stead.. primary school classmates you know!! Well.. whatever, it just needs Chemistry. I dropped Chemistry at JC1.

As usual, Maths tutorial was boring. I told myself, I'm going there just to mark attendence. For everything else, I will have to depend on my own. It is totally unproductive that the lecturer finished going through a topic on Friday, and here on Monday the tutor finishes the relevent tutorial questions, somemore he talked to the whiteboard!! Argh.. but Raphael was there entertaining me by discussing some questions.

Critical Thinking & Writing.... ermm... Ameet and Rizwan really made my day!! It is like out of the blue, Ameet whispered to me "You study Engineering because you want to get married is it?" I was like.. "huh?" Then I realize it was from my blog... Ameet has read my blog!! Hahahaha! Ameet and Rizwan were having their laptop on the table and Ameet went on to recite my theory about China not having weapons of mass destruction (i,e, laptop) Hmm.. our IPC trio crapped a lot.. but I've got a feeling our group has the most progress on the group assignment. Crap hard, work hard.

Rizwan gave us a lift, and of course me and Ameet went on to crap about the bird shit on Riz's car and blah blah... haha and Ameet had fun trying to destress himself by strangling me (sharks I was the front passenger)

Not that bad of a day.. and what's more, I manage to do a Physics question that most people can't do... haha and at this very moment, I'm enlightening Rizwan on that question...

"I share my problem with everyone and everyone share their problem with me" Climbers' Creed



Sunday, September 04, 2005

blaming myself....

After some thoughts, I think I have found some explaination as to why I felt so bad yesterday. As a belayer, I failed to do my duty. People couldn't complete the route due to my incompetence. It is like, getting into someone's way of reaching his/her goal. I think this is a logical reason.
I've always taken pride in belaying climbers. There is this feeling of being trusted, especially when someone's life is trusted in your hands.
I know Wongsan will say things like "nevermind", etc ... but still feel bad about it.. It is like everyone was waiting for the rope to be set up lor... just because of me.....

hmm anyway I can understand the difference in reaction from Bernard&Co and Nicky. Nicky was watching his boys climb, so naturally he was more concerned whether his boy reach the top; whereas Bernard&Co were authentically there to enjoy climbing, that's why they were more encouraging and helpful. At least that is what I think.

hmm.. today did tutorials the whole day. From Physics to Maths. Kinda enjoy it, I guess the ME is coming back~! Managed to do 2 weeks worth of backlogged tutorials...

hmm and kinda interesting I asked my brother about a statics question, ended up me explaining to him the concept.. NUS year 1 and NTU year 4 huh.... haha and we were sharing calculator! I think he didn't bring back his from his hostel. Actually it is perfectly normal for us to share things. My calculator was passed down from him. My previous haversack was his. My officer cadet epaulets were his... maybe I'm a recycler/reuser. Support 3R!
(* I started 3 paragraphs with "hmm..")



Saturday, September 03, 2005

feeling like a fool...

There are many kinds of fool on earth. Some fools dunno that they are fools; some fools know that they are fools; some fools know that they are fools but do nothing about it; some fools know that they are fools but feel that there is nothing they can do about it; some fools know that they are fools, try to do something about it but feel that they can't find the remedy.
But they are all fools.

Argh! Today nothing seems right for me. Went climbing with Wongsan, Nicole and Yonghui. Hmm met Benjamin there.. wow he's now with NTU UMC!! It has been like 4 years since I last saw him. Then got to know Bernard and friend (I think his name is HaiXing) Really friendly chaps who helpped me and gave me lots of pointers and encouragement. As for the rest of the climbing..... don't want to talk about it, I myself can't accept myself. Dunno what's wrong with myself. Feeling so shameful now... Argh and Nicky....... Nicky and Nicole...... those names floating in front of me....
Hmm.. really nice to see Nicole and Yonghui feeling so at ease with each other. Although I dunno what was the reason that they went separate ways, but the point is they are still friends!! That must have taken a lot of courage! (and self-pride as well. Oh saw the advertisement on TV while Wongsan was eating his breakfast, Channel U is showing Pride!!! Muhahaha I finished watching it on my computer already.. die die must watch k! check my first few blog for the description)

Then after that went to Ngee Ann City to meet up with mother and bro to buy mooncakes. I didn't participate much in the mooncake testing, afterall there are so many species, how to tell the difference when your mouth would be already full of that lotus taste already!

Came back home, my head almost hit my neighbour's joss stick pot...
What's wrong with me today?? 2359 faster come!!!



Friday, September 02, 2005

Judging books by their covers

YES. I admit that I judge a book by its cover. Knowing very well that a book with ugly cover may have nice content, and a book with nice cover may have lousy content, but poorly designed covers just don't catch my attention. And if they can do so well with the content, why don't they spend a bit more effort on the cover?? First impression is very important. It takes a few seconds to drive home the bad impression, but a few months or even years to overwrite that. Just like how chief clerk thinks everyone is a slacker.. (well... didn't I just provide a counter-argument?) Come on I'm human.

I do judge a person by his/her look. That IS what I want to say. Today got a little... unhappy I would say, about a tutorial classmate. Lesson was over and I was queueing up to ask the tutor some questions, then this freakin drug addict cut queue!! What the hell, I just hate people cutting queue. And please pardon me, I don't like his face! My tutorial class just has too many shit faces. Drug addict face, acid-corroded face... argh!! Not only their faces, but their dressing and behaviour as well. Honestly speaking I hate drug addict face and guai lan face.

I do believe that a person's look does reflect on his/her personality/character. An innocent looking lamb may very well be a wolf in disguise, but I think occurence is rare. And, I don't believe a fierce looking guy would talk like a little girl.... come on knock it off, all of you do think along the same line deep inside you right??

I'll rather spend time examining decent looking people, than to waste time searching for good souls in hopeless looking shells. Male/female alike.



Thursday, September 01, 2005

implicit, explicit...


Today was quite funny... I was walking with Weiguang towards Arts Facualty canteen for breakfast/lunch, then dunno why I got a bit jumpy and started sliding down the railing of the staircase. It was an external staircase, not a stairwell!! So the other side of the rail is mid-air... down to the all-time popular concourse. Hmm it would be a fall factor of infinity since there was no rope.. and 4 storeys seemed high enough. That sure scared Joose and Weiguang.. saw that stunt panicky expression on Joose face.. hahahaha! Dunno why I did it also...

Found myself quite petty afterwards. Hong Jun went to print some stuffs and promised to join us later at Arts Fac canteen. Weiguang and Winnie ordered their food first while I waited for Hong Jun... it took quite a long time before he arrived. Now thinking back I think I was very bad to feel petty.. afterall he didn't ask me to wait for him before ordering food, and secondly I shouldn't guess that he was dilly-dally. Oh, the spaghetti I ordered kind of cheered me up, cos it looked like kids' meal... haha so little spaghetti in such a big yellow plate, looked kinda cute~ and the peas and tomato slice looked quite out of place also.. haha!

Later went to University Cultural Centre with Hong Jun cos he needed to take something for his ExxonMobil club. Wow I met Pearlyn there!! Hmm actually I only met her twice and those occasions were 3 years ago, when I was still active in Singapore History Museum. It wasn't surprising that she didn't recall knowing me. Didn't talk for long, but I know she is working at NUS Museum now. Nevermind, reminds me of those ladies' gossip in SHM.

Ah... went home and watched School Rumble. It is supposed to be a super funny school comedy, but when I think deeper, it is actually quite sad. The story is about A liking B, but B likes C, and C knows nothing about it. Well.... being superficial isn't a bad thing some of the time. Man complicates things and make himself unhappy. If only everything is as simple.




 
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