blaming myself....

After some thoughts, I think I have found some explaination as to why I felt so bad yesterday. As a belayer, I failed to do my duty. People couldn't complete the route due to my incompetence. It is like, getting into someone's way of reaching his/her goal. I think this is a logical reason.
I've always taken pride in belaying climbers. There is this feeling of being trusted, especially when someone's life is trusted in your hands.
I know Wongsan will say things like "nevermind", etc ... but still feel bad about it.. It is like everyone was waiting for the rope to be set up lor... just because of me.....

hmm anyway I can understand the difference in reaction from Bernard&Co and Nicky. Nicky was watching his boys climb, so naturally he was more concerned whether his boy reach the top; whereas Bernard&Co were authentically there to enjoy climbing, that's why they were more encouraging and helpful. At least that is what I think.

hmm.. today did tutorials the whole day. From Physics to Maths. Kinda enjoy it, I guess the ME is coming back~! Managed to do 2 weeks worth of backlogged tutorials...

hmm and kinda interesting I asked my brother about a statics question, ended up me explaining to him the concept.. NUS year 1 and NTU year 4 huh.... haha and we were sharing calculator! I think he didn't bring back his from his hostel. Actually it is perfectly normal for us to share things. My calculator was passed down from him. My previous haversack was his. My officer cadet epaulets were his... maybe I'm a recycler/reuser. Support 3R!
(* I started 3 paragraphs with "hmm..")