perfect cup of coffee

Do you think perfect love is like a cup of coffee? The moment you mix the creamer with the coffee, there is no way to separate the two.

Some like their coffee sweet, some like theirs bitter; Some like it white, some like it black. But all can't resist the temptaion of its aroma. Pure indulgence.

What happens if you go without it? You feel like you can't live.

Okay, starts to sound like opium...

In our mind, we all have our ideal cup of coffee. If you love kopi-O, normal coffee is too light for you; If you like smooth light coffee, espresso is a nightmare. But one day you walk pass a cafe and caught the smell of mocha... should be the aroma caught hold of you. Your senses tell you you are in love with it... so from then on, you purposely pass by that cafe just to catch the sweet smell of mocha... (free what)

Then you are in a dilemma. Do you want a very normal, ordinary kind of coffee, or you want a vigorously vibrant blend? The exciting one is sure to give you surprises (which has 2 sides to it) and usually has a price to pay. On the other hand, the ordinary one is, in a way, more easily available, doesn't give u any surprise, but promises to make you feel assured everyday.

I tried this once, too exciting, can't take it beyond one box.... (it really is nice, but...)So I am in love with this one. Comes in different intensity. (so strikingly similar to relationship, has ups and downs)

advertisement: Strike it Up!

Studio Percussion Unit(SPU) cum 2/4 Percussion 1st concert - Strike it up! A percussion ensemble concert with pieces ranging from contemporary to ethnic music. 23rd December 2005, 7.30pm, at YMS Arts Centre. Tickets priced at $12. Contact Stephanie (ng.wan.jing@gmail.com) for tickets and/or details!

What am I doing....

babok club gathering

Last night we had our second Babok Club gathering of the year. Song Qian and I have been talking about meeting up for so many times that I really feel glad to see him last night. (er Wei Guang I can see in lecture leh... Janan, hmm.. not as close I guess) Everyone seems to have survived the exam (physically).

It was Janan who suggested we meet at Chinatown, later I realise he wanted to eat har juen gai (prawn paste chicken). Among the 4 of us Janan is the only non-cantonese, so we were making fun of his pronouciation (we said things like pak cheon gai.. hit-the-wall chicken.. so mean of us!) So we went up to Chinatown Complex hawker centre, but the cooked food stall was closed, so I suggested a place called Fatty Ox at Maxwell. We passed by a dessert stall where SQ stopped by and talked cock with a man. Later he told me that's his father.. what the.. looks different from the other time I saw him. Oh by the way SQ lives above the Chinatown Complex, so cool right?

The first time I visited Fatty Ox was 13 years ago. The food there is nice lor! And the boss is nice also! We spent like $11 per person for the chicken, gulu pork, veggie, tofu pot, fried rice, and free soup + dessert! We were quite funny, me and SQ like quite pro in eating Cantonese food, so we more or less monopolized the ordering process (minus Janan's favourite prawn paste chicken). After that we took a walk back to Chinatown Complex where we had Wuerstelstand German Sausage and dessert at the hawker centre. Haha so funny, I tried SQ's recommendation called the man tau long which isn't bad. (refer to photo below)

So we talked about school, CCAs, etc. I dunno, Janan hasn't change much but my perception of him seems to have differed from before, when we were all in AJC ODAC. Maybe I am the one who have changed , getting less tolerant of talkative people, less tolerant of people denouncing your idea... YES, that's the one. I don't like people rebutting your ideas without going through their thinking process (ie the moment you finish your sentence they say a big NO to you), blindly defending their own views. Now I think it is my problem...

But still, really happy to see SQ! =) (SQ is a Chow too~!)

babok club gathering photos

As before, photos first, craps later.

Janan, Wei Guang, Song Qian

Janan, Wei Guang, Siu Hang

self-approved member, secretary, vice president, president

Song Qian: Ooi fat ass don't finish all the food leh..

Janan: please lor, I only finished 2 plates of chicken lor (look at those empty plates)

Wei Guang eating the box and dumping the German sausage.

Wei Guang, Song Qian, Janan: ooi faster take leh, the ice melting liao!

Lunchbox: Eclectic Blues Ride

This is my third Lunchbox at Esplanade. At first I was quite angry at myself cos I was late. As the bus 133 I took is a loop service, so I even thought of staying on the bus and go back home. But somehow I told myself I've given up too much, should at least push myself for once. So I end up missing half of the performance(instead of going home and missing the whole thing).

It's a performance by Paul Ponnudorai. I dunno, think it's me who doesn't know how to appreciate electric music, but the performance was based heavily on electric guitar.

Think now I wouldn't mind missing the performance. But then, I'm still a supporter of Lunchbox. Next month's Lunchbox sounds interesting... Christmas rock~

can't help falling (off the wall)

oh, that picture wasn't quite what I meant by buried under the collapsed wall while bouldering. I meant worse.

lamers activated

Edwin just came back from Sydney yesterday and I feel kinda honoured to go out with him today. (later then I realize he will only be going back in February..)

I waited for him outside Kuan Im Thong. Surprisingly there were quite a lot of worshippers. Dunno if it was because I was wearing a bright yellow t-shirt, people were looking at me as if thinking "what is a monk doing standing outside guan yin tang?" It is interesting to know that young people like Edwin also go to temple to worship. Edwin told me that before he set off to Sydney he prayed for something, so today he went back to "return the favour". Hmm I burned joss sticks too, as usual praying for something for the whole human race. So selfless... I'm so stupid, should've prayed for something for myself right?

Then we went to Sim Lim cos Edwin wanted to hunt for laptop pouch, CD-RW drive and repair his thumbdrive. I don't follow up with hardware news, so I wasn't of much help. Then we went to Bugis Junction to find a cafe to sit down to look at Edwin's photo. (he brought along his laptop) Initially we found a table at Starbucks near the sliding door, but whenever the sliding door opened cigarette smoke would rush in directly at us, so we changed place. Coffee Bean was packed as well, just couldn't understand why would a Monday afternoon be so crowded.

So we went to The Coffee Connoisseur. Guess what, we met Farhan there! Oh he was Charlie 2IC, now working at tcc. As a miser, this was the first time I visit tcc, so caveman right? I ordered a cup of Oreo Mocha Frappe, which was simply fantastic! Oreo goes well with just almost anything. So in between sips Edwin showed me photos of his life at University of New South Wales. They were indeed very interesting and Edwin flooded me with details, but somehow I just felt sleepy... not Edwin's fault (maybe partly his, cos he kept telling me names that I dunno), really, cos it happens in canteen as well. My staying-awake-at-eatery endurance has been weakening since I joined NUS, must be the lack of 9 months of afternoon nap.

Somehow the 2 of us need a third person for us to become lame.

keeping it simple and true

Last night Rizwan suddenly asked me on MSN "Why did you have a fight with Stephanie?"
er.. I was like, did I? Then he went on to talk about flings and a lot more craps...
No I didn't have a fight with anyone except for poor enemy soliders in my computer game. Actually Stephie and I are getting to know each other better. Fantastic wonders of being strangers. (oh she corrected me this morning on this, didn't sound happy with the word "strangers")

Anyway, she asked me something funny this morning.. she asked if I can be her god-brother. But why bother becoming god-siblings? She said she wants to have an elder brother... err... OKAY, but... NO. Sharks I rejected her again... I think I need to quote Shakes Beer for the umpteenth time...

Caesar Good friends, go in, and taste some wine with me; And we, like friends, will straightway go together.
Brutus [aside] That every like is not the same, O Caesar! The heart of Brutus yearns to think upon.
--- Julius Caesar Act two Scene 2

Friends don't need to call one another friends. If I call you friend, most probably I will stab you the next moment like how Brutus & Co did to Caesar... I think I told this to Alex, Nicole Ho and Tong. Speaking of Tong, haha his online romance is a classic example! He and "headmistress" knew each other from Friendster. They flirted each other on msn and sms until one day they decided to meet up. Now they are steadily planning for marriage. Basket. I thought I don't believe in online romance.

wise men say

Can't help falling
Wise men say only fools rush in
but I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you

All time favourite in acappella. Don't you find it nice?
I wish I can say "I can't help falling off the wall" when climbing... ok Alex will scold me.
Oh, actually Stephanie and I heard this song in that lunchtime concert at University Cultural Centre, which was also in acappella.

monday morning

Good morning people!! It's a beautiful sunny Monday morning. Keep on smiling!!
Huh? What blue? Oh the blue sky!

Just finished cleaning the windows... when the weather is good, everything seems wonderful!

funny service at CJ

The service at Crystal Jade Macau Cafe@Bugis Junction is funny... very funny...
This is the sequence they delivered our orders: dessert, rice, tim sum.... hello? I know traditional Chinese words read from right to left, but you don't have to serve the food in reverse orders right???

I was scooping rice from the plate to my bowl, and as you all know, a bowl can only hold one bowl of rice, so I told my mother and brother to scoop the remaining rice as well if not they will confiscate the quarter-plate of rice. My brother said cannot be that ridiculous. The moment he finished his sentence a supervisor came and collect the plate. (of cos we stopped him) Then my brother said to my mum "he's right..." A quarter plate of rice is not as if it is one grain of it left.....

Then I was pouring tea for myself when that supervisor came to clear our table. He used his finger to push my cup away inch by inch while I was pouring... what the!! Comedy central is it?

I just find it funny... not really angry, just... funny. Maybe ridiculous.

close shave at carrefour

I felt so dramatic this afternoon.

Think cos Christmas is around the corner and it's school holiday, the toy section at Carrefour was super crowded with shoppers. (In case you haven't noticed, the toy section of Carrefour is right at the entrance on the 2nd level). Toy promoters were seen everywhere demonstrating toys to kids and bluffing parents to buy them... I was walking halfway when a remote control aeroplane came straight towards my head!! YES! Straight at me, my head!!(blame my 179cm height) I dunno where I got my reflex but within a nanosecond I ducked and the plane whizzed past just above my head. I tell you it was freaking horrible!!!

The promoter kept apologising to me, but I was too traumatised to react. I think I stoned there for a few minutes....

hmm maybe I should have done the matrix move. Maybe not, what if my head hits some girls' bosom behind? -_-"

when helping just backfires

My brother told me something that pissed me off equally.
Okay he is in his final year of mechanical engineering, so everyone is busy with their final year project. His classmate was having problem connecting his gadget to his laptop via the LPT port, I think new laptops don't come with LPT port... do they? Coincidentally my brother's laptop has, so that guy borrowed the laptop from my brother and happy work on his final year project.

It has been quite a long time, so my brother went to ask that guy when will he finish using our laptop. He said haven't. After a while, my brother asked him again, and he told my brother that the prof said need to wait or stuffs like that, so couldn't return our laptop. Oh, he told my brother this: "cher, how much does your laptop cost!" And according to my brother, nowadays they bump into each other as if they don't know each other. The laptop is still not returned.

What the freak! Firstly, shouldn't he have the courtesy to inform/request the owner for extension? Secondly, the "how much" comment was really crap. Hello? Who is asking for help from who? If he really thinks the help is worthless, why didn't he go and buy a laptop with LPT port or whatever? It is like you feed a dog and the dog bites you...

That's why sometimes I am so reluctant to help people, knowing that most people don't appreciate it. On the other hand, my brother is quite willing to help "friends". There was once he lend a CD to his friend, who return it dunno how many months later. It was am empty case. Hello? He got hungry and ate the CD like a donut is it?

A friend in need is a friend indeed, but when he has finished needing you, you worth less than crap.

quote of the day

In a mad world, only the mad are sane.
--- Akiro Kurosawa

Arghhh now I want the Black Diamond sling!! See how indecisive I am when buying things~ Maybe next time when Alex decides to buy that Lafuma shell from Outdoor Specialist, I should tag along to press for discount...

By the way, now my blog is full of carabiners, I should rename it to chillycraps' crab

Like real.

no climb today

sunny Saturday morning...
21 days since I last touched climbing walls...
What can be worse than going down to SAFRA Yishun and be told that all the walls were closed! I thought today is my last chance to climb before SAFRA is going to raise the price, but sadly, my last chance was 3 weeks ago.. *sob*
Ok at least the damage was minimal, with only Alex and I taking the hit today, the rest of the gang were all missing. Wow we were in close contact with that group of all-girls climbers! One of them is quite cute!! I saw them on other Saturdays quite often, but I didn't talk to them. Today Alex did. Basket... some buayas are natural born.


So we continued our hunt for the bolts. Went to Plaza Singapura where we had a looooong chat at GNC, apparently Alex's family is very close to the staffs there. Home-Fix doesn't have the bolt, Spotlight also doesn't have, but we met Alex's "sister". Hoho.. ok. I pulled Alex to see Lego, but is kind of disappointed, cos nowadays Lego comes in big pieces, not like old times when they came in basic blocks, you really had to build your cars and houses last time.

Alex called home and realized his father bought the bolts. Wow, his father is really funny, taking interest in whatever the son is interested in (minus climbing). So we went to Alex's house. (Actually feel a little embarassed, visiting them in 2 consecutive days) The scene was very funny too, Alex's mother was lecturing him for his messy computer room. I don't know if he felt embarassed to be lectured in front of his friend (that's me), but luckily I was chatting with his father. His father also looked quite happy to be chatting with his son's friend (ahem that's me) Actually I was thinking of helping Alex to fix the finger board in, but his father is only free to do it this evening but Alex is going out, so...

Like that lor. Dunno when I can climb again.

weird host

Yes, Alex is a weird host! (I avoided the word 'lousy', cos I seldom host friends)
Actually Alex's mother was the one who served me, felt a bit embarassed a elder was serving a kid like me. Oh, I'm really glad to see Alex's mother look fine! Haha she jokingly grumbled that Alex doesn't know how to entertain guest.. haha.

So after our failed attempt at the finger board, we went into Alex's room where he showed me his new game (by playing it in front of a standing me) So he was showing me the magic spells and the chop or whatever you call it that the hero was making at monsters... Then when the game was loading the next map, Alex moved over to his laptop to check his ofice emails. With an evil intention I took his place to play the game, making stupid actions and etc but still quite good already for someone playing it the first time. Feels like the game I played before called Die by the Sword, but minus the fanciful magic spells.

My evil intention did have the desired effect. I sucessfully displaced Alex from the game so that he diligently did his office work from his laptop, and also partly I felt like wanting to go down to change the bolt and get it over and done with once and for all.

Oh, I think I did mention in my earlier entries the dream about building a bouldering wall in my room and getting buried under the collapsed overhangs... still comical whenever I think of it..

bolt? 10mm?

Kind of unexpected that Alex asked me out today. He was on leave and wanted to go to town to look at winter clothes and buy bolts for his new finger board. Hmm went to Outdoor Specialist, and surprisingly the uncle wasn't having pms. I was super happy/sian when I saw the collection of climbing equipment there.. to be exact they sell more Black Diamond gear than Allsports, and their BD runner is only at $35.. where else can you find that price? Sheeesh feeling a bit dumb why I didn't buy my carabiner from Outdoor Specialist. Allsports don't have the BD pearabiner which I have been eyeing on for a few years! Now I feel like quite dumb when people mix up my Faders HMS as SAFRA property... ok out of point, Alex got the 4 expansion anchor and 10mm bolts, which we shall see how interesting they will get.

Then we went to check out the winter wear cos Alex will be going to Japan. Actually Outdoor Specialist offers him the Lafuma at $300... hmm... anyway we went to Adephi (where the staff ignored our presence), then Campers' Corner (where I showed him the $50 Nalgene bottle, and both agreed no point having that), then to Suntec (where we didn't quite like the staff at ColdWear). Guess what, we went to Toy's'rus to look at magic toys, and when we came out we saw a magic show! (2 twenty odd year old fella...)

We went to Alex's house, happying visualising how the finger board will be... ended up the bolts were too short and big. Feel a little funny that Wee Li didn't think of the bolts when he gave the finger board to Alex as birthday present. So we went back to Outdoor Specialist to change the bolts, but other than expansion bolt there wasn't any alternative. In the end Alex exchanged for a 36 bucks quick dry towel. So after that Alex drove me to Ang Mo Kio where we hoped to find the bolt in the hardware shop. No luck.

He must be feeling sad. Anyway I checked my catalogues, they SHOULD be 10mm. Your finger board must be made in China

(oh, feeling proud of myself, I gave up my seat to an old man on the bus)

rugged sandals, moronic user.

On my way to the bus stop, I took my usual shortcut at the open air carpark near my house. I stepped onto a puddle of mud...

What can I say? The Teva sandals are rugged, and the user is stupid.
My right foot felt disgusting for the whole afternoon. Oh Alex has openly declared that he won't walk with me if I ever wear a pair of Crocs.

convince, confuse

If I can't convince myself, I confuse myself, and in the process confuse others.
This is so messy.
I've hurt Stephanie.
I didn't know the word "sweet" is a taboo.
I've committed the mistake that I listed out...
Don't make someone say he/she likes you when you yourself aren't ready to commit yourself.
This is just not fair to the other party.
It is like pulling a mule along, but the mule has no idea where he/she is going.

And no, I'm not going to redeem myself by making illogical decision.
This is not like redeeming free frying pan at supermarket.
And she won't be happy if I just decide to go along not out of my own will.
Oh.. perhaps she will. No, I don't think so.

Stephanie, thanks.
Aren't we supposed to be there for each other.. in words and not in deeds.
Ok this is super ironical.

*please guys, this is a serious entry, no crap comments please.*

KO the exam

dunno if it's the exam K.O. me or I K.O. the exam. But now I'm feeling damn sleepy... this is illogical, I didn't work hard, why am I tired? Oh, my engine efficiency is zero, only knows how to burn fuel but no output.

During the exam period has been seeing a lot of weird behaviours from people. First there is this botak. (shan't elaborate.) Then Hong Jun kept rubbing my hair before every paper as if it will pass the luck to him. (no wonder I so suay) Then Kai Hui... ermm she sat in front of me for 3 papers and dunno why she kept turning her head and giggled at me. Oh, don't worry, I don't want to get beaten up by her bf, and she is a Chow also.

Today's maths paper... ermm... well.... what can I say about something I don't quite like? Actually I used to love maths in secondary school. I could come up with questions that the maths dept couldn't answer. Then as I went to JC, the interest wore off... started to hate calculus, and for the module I am taking, it is mainly calculus.. crap! Wait till next semester when it is linear algebra.. oh, will I make it to next semester?

Wanted to crap more... but no energy.

de fleur

no no no, it's not deflower, it's the flower. -_-" Yup, my money plant is having flowers~! So people, keep on smiling! Hmm has been a long time since I last took care of my plants, but it is joyous indeed when you see them grow. *singing "look at me, see how fast I grow..."*

Ok this one is alternate fashion statement... I didn't do it. Look as if the big bold words can fend off evil.. no it doesn't work.

sunny thursday

Good morning people! It's a sunny thursday morning, keep on smiling!!

*I must be crazy, trying to use half an hour to learn what I'm supposed to learn in half a year.

what the fish...

fish fish fish... who do i have to eat fish for lunch.... ?
Not helping my mood at all.
Sigh.... a bit not satisfied with my Statics & Mechanics paper this morning. Maybe when you like something the most, it will hurt you the worst. Something like love. Nothing, just that among the 5 modules I like it the most, that's all.
Surprisingly, Indian and Pakistani ambassadors were seated very close to me, in fact Rizwan was just beside me. Talking about border skirmishes and territorial dispute...

Hmm... 4 questions, I attempted Q4 first, cos it has the highest weightage, but still couldn't finish it due to time contraint. I could have, if I just eat a bit into the other question's time. But exam condition calls for tactics. This is not leisure or interest... this is WAR.
Ok the only interesting question is the one on the clutch... if your right leg is broken, my answer is you should use the clutch on the left side. Firstly this question is psychological, the answer must be out of the norm. Secondly, I bai ka before so I know how it feels. Thirdly, using clutch on the right side is good for STANDING, but not for walking which the question stated...

After the paper they took so long to collect the answer booklets, as if they needed to calculate the maximum stress per pile and the deflection of the rope... for goodness sake, this is the only paper that the lecturers actually count the number!! Kind of pissed when we saw the Japanese Studies candidates went off happily.. oh the examiner for JS was damn noisy, kept making annoucement and annoucement...

Ameet kept teasing me about what sure got A and all those craps.. I won't blame him, look at the population problem in India. On the contrary, Pakistan was smarter, said that he won't bother asking me since he will see it in my blog.

I just feel like skipping Maths paper tomorrow. What's the point of going when you know you won't do well? Oh, maybe they give marks for writing down your matriculation number.

lean on me

(doesn't sound like the one by Bill Withers, but still has that tear-gas effect on me)

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

chin got hole

Dunno why just now during dinner, I kept dropping rice onto the table...

(trying to recall what was on my mind)
How many rice weevil did I send to heaven?
Did I add too much salt into the soup?
Did I add too little water?

Oh, tomorrow.

big tin oreo

Can I whine?
Argh!! This morning went to ShopNSave with my mother, saw that Christmas edition Oreo... actually this is not my first time seeing it, saw it the other day at Cold Storage while hunting for jelly... but still... really tempted to buy it at $4.75, but... ok better behave myself.

I used to be quite addicted to Oreo during JC time. If you open my locker door, all the oreo will fall out from it! Somemore my locker was the top in the row... luckily I bribed the student council if not the teacher raid it then that's it.. (no la just kidding) Haha I had a locker all to myself and the cute juniors used to slip pieces of notes into it. So sweet~

This is my first time visiting this branch of ShopNSave since it opened not long ago, 'cos I usually go to the one at Ang Mo Kio central. Argh there is this cute looking girl packing vegetable. Ok not my business.

ants in honey

I saw a few dead ants in my bottle of honey.

Not sure should I call them poor thing, or should I call them silly. They wanted to eat the honey, ended up being drowned in the honey. For simplicity, why didn't they attack my jar of sugar? Cos honey taste sweeter? Hmm.. but is it worth their life? Well maybe it is the sweetest thing they've ever tasted in their life, so can't really say it is a regret.

Instantly reminded me of casual sex... people just wanted to have fun but ended up having AIDS. Sad huh? The worst is I've read a girl got it on her first time, from her husband somemore. This isn't fair, not as if she sleeps around or what. Why must she be punished for what her husband did?

Sorry, wrong analogy.

lucky basket, he got that kubrick

I was aimlessly surfing the net looking for Kubricks, then went into this person's blog and realise he got that "impossible to find" Kubrick! !@#$%"^ The special thing about it is there is only 1 in every 96 boxes. You will get what I mean when you visit Action City and look at all the Kubricks, Be@rbricks and Evirob. They come in boxes and you won't know which one you are buying. Some may call it thrill, others may not, especially when you end up having 2 of the same kind.

I saw at Yahoo Auction, someone is selling a set of 5 at HK$1200, which is around S$300. (The funny thing is, the seller is a Singaporean but he posted it in HK Yahoo) Then another guy is selling the 80s' SAS Kubrick at S$50 (but the item has been posted for quite a long time, basket he doesn't want to lower the price) Why don't they rob a bank?

Ok this is my pathetic collection, Manpower people should have seen it at the office on my desk. 22 years old and still playing toys...

skill of rejection

Does it occur to you that rejection needs techniques? In order not to harm anyone's feeling, a win-win situation must be achieved. Something like the Chinese saying "good beginning, good ending"

Let's look at some examples. A girl wants to reject a boy. What are the ways available to her disposal? The most common ones are "I don't want to waste your youth", "I'm not your type", "Why can't we just be friends". Not convincing, since the guy can always say he doesn't mind wasting his time on her, or yes yes she is his type.. The most poisonous cocktail is to keep asking the boy whether he likes her or not, then under intensive interrogation the boy confess. The girl delivers the lethal punch by saying "I already like someone".

Hello? You don't have to destroy someone's pride and self-esteem in this way! If you don't want him to like you, then don't force him to admit! Someone told me before that noone likes to be rejected, regardless whether he/she really likes you or not. Not accepting someone doesn't equate to rejecting someone. It is like you can choose not to buy Pepsi Cola, but it is totally different when you say Pepsi Cola sucks.

If you really already have someone in mind or if you are already attached, a nicer way to reject someone would be to casually mention 'the other guy', something like "Oh my boy friend says blah blah blah". If the guy's brain is functioning perfectly, he should catch the hint. Unless he is more daring than Rambo. Distancing yourself works too, but it will take slightly longer time depending on the guy's patience.

Isn't it nice to reject someone without making him feel hurt? (hmmm ummm got a feeling someone may use this to stab me)

critically can't think or write

Dunno why just couldn't write smoothly this morning in the Critical Thinking & Writing paper. Most of the time my pen wasn't on my hand, and even if it was, its tip wasn't touching the paper, even if its tip was touching the paper, I wasn't writing, and even if I was writing, it was crap. I think I wrote far less than 750 words.

The topic was about spanking... er.. not sadomasochism that kind but parents spanking children. I myself don't really disagree to spanking, but we were somehow expected to argue against it. Dumb. It is like going against our own ideal...

After the paper took a walk to SDE's bus stop. It has been a while since I took a stoll in the rain, mostly occured when I was sad or in deep thoughts or something... but this morning my mind wasn't thinking of anything. Maybe it was.

On bus 852 there was this lady who behaved a little weird... I was seated near the back and she was standing near the exit... then she kept peeking at me.. Out of the blue she sat beside me when the whole freaking bus was near empty.. then after a while she got up and return to stand.. kept peeking more.... then alighted at the same stop as me. Hello? What's wrong with you???? (now, I don't want to hear anymore crap about auntie killer...)

lead me on

Come on and lead me on
Come on and tease me all night long.

wah super kinky for a monday morning... ok 30 more minutes to my Critical Thinking & Writing paper...

*supposedly I posted this in the morning, but due to technical problem at the Computer Centre, I took it down.

girl friend and her past

Read this some time ago in the forum and wanted to share with you all. (obviously it's not me!)

There is this guy who has been happily with his girl friend for half a year. Suddenly the girl came up to him and told him that she has been raped before. The guy was at a lost and seeked opinions from the forum.

Don't you think the girl is very brave? The experience is painful enough for her, and yet she has decided to tell her boy friend the truth. She could have very well just kept quiet about it and pretend that nothing has happened. Does it show that she loves him so much that she decided not to hide it anymore?

On the other hand, how should the boy take it? Obviously his girl friend isn't a virgin anymore, but to put it crudely does he love her or does he love her hymen? She has decided to tell him her painful past... isn't it proof that she loves him?

I think that the reason he was at a lost at first is because he wanted a virgin girl. Well... you may say a Ferrari with a scratch is still a Ferrari, or you may say a scratch on a Ferrari is still a scratch... hmmm I dunno, actually I read another story that says the husband murdered his wife cos she got gang-raped by her friends... ok disgusting.

What do you think?

about service

This may interest Alex. Something beyond Greet Smile Thankyou.

Today went out with my mother to have lunch with some family friends. The place is a Chinese Restaurant at Chinatown, serving Hong Kong Tim Sum. So we were chatting away, and a waiter wanted to pour tea for me, but my hand was in the way, so he just said a "'scuse" expecting me to move away my hand. Firstly, the word "'scuse", short form for "excuse me", isn't exactly polite. It sounds more like a demand than really asking people to excuse you. Then another waitress came and molested the teapot a bit, checked our orders, then walked away. Hello? Weren't you planning to serve tea or something?? I mean if you don't serve I will serve my elders, but why come and touch touch the teapot and move off? Weird. Oh, and the Char Sau Pau they sell doesn't contain real char sau.. I don't recall it's a vegetarian restaurant. That's why I've never liked that restaurant all along.

After that I went off first while the ladies(I was the only male among the 4) went about their shoppings. I went to Adventure 21 to check out some climbing gear, and this staff came and served me...

staff: hi can I help you?
chow: (smile) just taking a look.
staff: are you into climbing?
chow: yah
staff: how long have you been climbing? Just started or..?
chow: ermm.. a while
staff: a few years?
chow: yup, a few years
staff: ok...... (walked away)

I think he realise I am a climber, and decided I won't fall victim into buying those expensive Mammut equipment. Well.. Mammut stuffs are a bit too expensive, the only thing I like is their logo. I checked out their T-shirt and it cost 60 bucks! And their shoes.... ermm... they copied Mad Rock's dual density rubber.. cheapskate.

Came back, Alex told me over MSN that SAFRA Yishun is going to charge climbers for loaning of runners starting December. What the freak... now everything also talks about money, might as well climb natural at Dairy Farm...

*This is a runner. It serves more than just making u look cool.

hi again

*mutter some vulgarity..*
After closing for less than 12 hours, chillycraps' craps has to open again under public pressure.
During the closed period, I've received a number of complaints, the most significant one being the official protest by the Pakistani ambassador. We deeply regret the disappointing action has disappointed so many of my valued readers.

Was having mood swing I guess, time of the month (ironically not mine) But glad to have spoken to the parties involved, signed a non-aggression pact, agreed to keep disturbing each other and dun complain...

We are living in a shaky peace, but at least it is still peace. Aren't we glad?

goodbye blogger

Sorry, just feeling a little sick and tired.

Won't be posting until further notice.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

Oh, please don't trust my previous sentence.

--- chow

arghhhh pussy cat!!

My mother just chased away a cat!!!
Ok this may sound weird... I'm living on the 6th Storey, a few minutes ago a cat was sitting obediently at the corridor just outside the door. My mother saw it and was scared that the cat may enter the house (happened before), so she closed the wooden door and told me about it.

I whined.

I opened the metal gate and rushed out, saw a beautiful white persian cat strolling away... its hair is very furry, and it was wagging its tail like a doggy! How often do u see cats doing that??

I made that tsk tsk sound that I ususally do to attract animals, and the cat looked back, took a few steps and looked back again, like a parting lover not wanting to leave her lover....

My heart is melted.

Luckily my family still doesn't know I play with stray cats.

when you play, people stare; when you work, people don't care

My mother is getting quite pissed off with her workplace.
On Friday night she had some sort of end of year retreat dinner or something at a hotel. I think some slackers and bootlickers got some best staff award, then she gets damn pissed off.

So I asked her, you are unhappy cos you didn't get the award, or you are unhappy cos someone who doesn't deserve it ends up having the award? The answer is obvious. I think in whatever organization there will be this sort of people, just like the presence of deviant in every society. The boss decides who gets the award by judging who makes him/her happy, so obviously those good oscar actors will get the award. Furthermore, you are working for the money, not to make anyone happy, so why bother?

Come to think of it, this kind of things happened to me before, so I can understand why she feels this way. When I was in AJC ODAC, I was kinda disappointed why I didn't get the Distinguished Service Award. (while someone did) Ok ok let's not talk about who doesn't deserve it.. let's talk about myself. I actually headed the most ad hoc committees.. nevermind, I look ugly.

In army, hmm.. when I was in OCS, I always volunteered to clean the toilet, end up they thought I hide myself during area cleaning.. what the hell!!! Part of the reasons why I got out of course is because I opted out, not happy with my instructors. At that time I told myself I don't need to prove myself to anyone, I just need to prove to myself. Dumb.
Then at BMTC I think things got better, since Chief Clerk will mistake who doesn't work, and not mistake who works. -_-" So it is either you really work but she thinks you slack or if you slack then it is quite clear cut. Oh I got nominated for best supporting staff, but ended up a lazy clerk got it. Nevermind. It's about dedication. Yes it is.

So much is being said, I think at the end of the day we must realize the reasons we are working for. And, the world is never fair.

do you ever know that you're my hero

I feel like I'm a hero.
I wrote 8 pages of crap this morning for Sociology!! Fine, double spacing, but still quite a lot of trees within 2 hours. I seldom write so much on paper.

Sometimes I wonder am I really sadistic? People around me were busy writing away, and I was casually sipping water from that monster Nalgene bottle, stretch my fingers, take a nap (yes I did) so that people around me will feel more stressed.

The thing I like about arts paper is that the thinking process is equally important. In engineering paper you just have no time to think. The fantastic thing is that the moment you dip your pen onto the paper, only then your ideas will start flowing. The problem is I only dipped my pen after 10-20 minutes. I did a question on 'family' and another on 'religion', both of which can be crapped. A little bit of Cow Marks, a little bit of Durkheim... a lot of craps, well you are in business.

After the paper I met Mr Saiful and Dr Anne carrying our papers outside Yusoff Ishak House. Mr Saiful is my Sociology tutor and Dr Anne is one of the lecturers... I waved hi to him and gave a super wide grin... was he thinking I wanted to rob the papers?? Hmm...

Glad to know that Stephanie is feeling better now~ and she in turn cheered me.. what the... was thinking about it during the paper... she said she will slap me if I don't do well... wow I could have just failed it and let her slap, saves the trouble.

*thanks to my heroes from India and Pakistan, we got 86 for our Critical Thinking and Writing position paper!! Now each of us has to fight our individual battle.. stabbing each other?*

i came, i saw, i give up

First blood.
Not as if 2 hours is a constraint, you give me 2 years I also won't chunk out the solution. So might as well make it quick.

Imagine this, you are staring at the blank answer booklet, shaking leg, mechanical pencil in hand drawing pictures on the blank space, occasionally looking at the watch.
I am so calm, sometimes I scare myself.

Maybe I just need some stress, a crisis.
It is like after you make a girl pregnant then you know trouble is awaiting you.
I hate it. Knowing a problem and not doing anything to it.
That's worse than creating the problem itself.
I hate myself? Who cares. Even I myself wouldn't care.

To my dear climbers, can't join you guys tomorrow, having Sociology paper.

feel like vomiting

dunno if it is the coffee, the exam, or learning what has happened to someone... suddenly feel like there is something wanting to come out from my throat.

in less than 1 hour I will be sitting for my physics paper...

oh just now I was waiting for bus 151 at Bukit Timah, Nai Ying was glancing at me in a weird way.. think she hasn't seen my short hair and must be wondering if I am who I am... Oh Nai Ying is in my Critical Thinking & Writing tutorial. My heart was beating a little too fast, thinking of a way to say hi or something if the need arose.... luckily a 157 came and saw Eileen alighted. The funny thing is, the other few times I saw her, she couldn't recognise me, now with my old hairstyle she finally could recognise me! Ironic.

We chatted all the way during the journey on 151. We were from the same batch of ODACians and we were in the same F Maths lecture group in AJC. Now she's year 3 majoring Maths.. wow. We talked about how's everyone else from our batch.. surprisingly most of the ODAC girls are in NUS which I thought otherwise. Nevermind. Eileen is in year 3 means she's about to graduate!! wow.. so envious, can start working and earn money...

The puking feeling isn't getting any better.

the longest day

Onwards, young soldiers of the the universities. March into the battlefield also known as exam halls!

Many men came here as soldiers
Many men will pass this way
Many men will count the hours
As they live the longest day

Many men are tired and weary
Many men are here to stay
Many men won't see the sunset
When it ends the longest day

The longest day the longest day
This will be the longest day
Filled with hopes and filled with fears
Filled with blood and sweat and tears

Many men the mighty thousands
Many men to victory
Marching on right into battle
In the longest day in history

*honestly, I feel like dying.*

it's raining men, hallelujah

early in the morning and it's raining.
got up to close the kitchen windows, then drop back to my bed.
heard footsteps coming from my mother's room.
"CLOSED ALREADY!" (er not exactly these words but to the same effect)
"orh"

grammatically, raining men is wrong.
shouldn't it be raining water, or raining rain water?
how horrible it would be to see men falling in the billions from the sky.
or, they should have inserted a comma after the word raining and before the word men.
something like, "it's raining, men, hallelujah"

tomorrow is judgement day. physics paper.
it's a good day to fight, it's a good day to die. not when you are not prepared.

finished watching patlabor

Yup, another anime series that I've finished rewatching. The first time I watched it was more than 10 years ago, so sort of can imagine how old the series was. Better to enjoy old classics than to tolerate new craps right?


Patlabor is about the Japanese police robot unit SV2. It is a little more realistic than Gundam and feels closer to our real life. It definitely packs more humour and friendship than Gundam. Was kinda disappointed that Asuma and Noa still didn't express their feelings for each other... sigh.

As usual, I didn't really particularly like the robots used by the main characters, but rather the sidekicks. One of them is the Helldiver! So cute!! It's not a police robot though, it's from the army. Weird of me right? Of all the characters I choose the small ones.... Nevermind.

quote of the day

One thing man learns from history is that man learns nothing from history
---George Bernard Shaw

feeling so sad about myself. history always repeats itself. academic. relationship. everything.
stupid mood swing.

roll left, roll right

1:30pm.
Lying on parents' bed, trying to take a nap.
I need the nap, not because I'm sleepy, but I know my body is falling apart.
The threshold is there. The limit is near.
I'm not sure how much longer can I hang on.
Hang on to what? Hang on rotting? Hang on wasting the earth's supply of oxygen.
Depriving someone of his/her life chances.
The irony of it all is I haven't done much during this study week.
Have I done much for my life?
Negative.

Tossing around. Roll left. Roll Right.
My mind is defintely not a blank. In fact, it is too messy.
Thinking of nothing and everything.
How I wish I can just switch it off like how I switch off my computer.
Roll left. Roll right.

1:45pm.
SMS tone from my handphone.
Ignored. Roll left. Roll right. Curling up like what a dead prawn does.

2:00pm.
Finally feel tired of rolling.
Nicholl sent me SMS asking if I would want to climb later.
Negative.

watch and watched. police mrt unit

Was observing the Police MRT Unit(PMU) at City Hall MRT Station while waiting for Alex yesterday. Don't really understand why are they wearing red berets. Traditionally the red beret has been the trademark of airborne troopers, right from the time of the British Parachute Regiment in WW2. I realise the SWAT unit of South Korea is donning the red beret as well. Maybe the PMU is really an elite unit. Anyway, afterall I'm a green beret, try telling that to an US soldier and he will drop to his knees. Come to think of it, why do we need elite to do prowling?

Well, at least the PMU make their presence felt. Standing at the end of the escalator armed to the teeth with MP-5 (no no.. this is the name of a submachinegun, not mp3 or wad, can't imagine if policeman armed with mp3 players..) I observed that their secondary loadout is quite varied. Some had Taurus .38 revolver as their sidearm, while others had Glock. And some had the T baton while others weren't equipped with any baton. I also want personal loadout!! Let me make my wishlist... a carbine, Glock, jungle knife, ... ok dreaming again.

Don't you feel assured that at this very moment, our homeland is being protected?

quote of the day

I am like no one else in the whole world.
--- Jean Jacques Rousseau

*was checking out some philosophy books at MPH @Raffles City before the dinner.

alex's birthday with mad climbers..

haha ok here comes the text.
Today is Alex's birthday~! (26?) I thought it would be nice to ask the climbers to have a birthday dinner for him, so I booked him last week~! (he has so many cliques, very lucky to book the slot hor!)

When Alex saw me at City Hall MRT, he was quite stunned to see my new/old look. (ok first time letting ppl see my new/old hairstyle) Not sure if he was truthful or not, but he said it looks cute. Afterall who will tell lies on his birthday?

So we had dinner at Sakae Sushi @Funan. Nicholl and Meder joined us there and the moment Nicholl saw my head, she lost control.. (alrite I'm exaggerating, so long didn't have girls touch my hair)Along the way we ate, crapped, made fun of the assistant manager, etc. Hahahaha Nicholl was talking to a waitress on how black the assistant manager's face was. Alex also commented about her service quality. Guess it was just relevant to his job. Meder was fully ultilising his command of Chinese and called the waitress "xiaojie", in which Nicholl made fun of it by touching Alex's chin in a seductive manner... lucky Alex.... =D

I think I was quite hyper, even before we ordered the sake. Must be the wasabi. Hahaha! As usual the cocktail of lame jokes and craps... and I have the feeling the people around us were looking in our direction. Or were they just glancing at the conveyor belt? Oh the warm sake tasted a bit funny, first time drinking it and I think it is a weaker version of the Chinese rice wine. Nicholl was so eager to see how I will look like when drunk. (hello? I've never been drunk) Anyway the sake was really light. Meder was obviously not satisfied. So what he did? He went to Ya Kun to drink tea and eat kaya toast. Haha again he placed his order in Chinese, and the gang of Ya Kun ladies kind of buaya him, said he yandao and blah blah... Ok this time round I ain't the auntie killer.

Meder seemed like he didn't have enough fun, but Alex needs to go to work tomorrow, having meeting somemore. So Alex, Nicholl and I went home on the same bus 133. Alex alighted first, so left with me and Nicholl. Like I said before, when it is 2 people the topics tend to become serious. We talked about university, talked about her 6 months in Hong Kong (giggle, nvm)Oh we finally got back our mad selfs when she alighted and we waved at each other frantically across the window.

Hmm... feeling good after drowning in the sea of boredom of study week.

birthday boy and happy climbers

I'll upload the photos first since people are more interested in the photos than my craps.

Alex and Nicholl: We have our cameras too!

Meder: No LAH!

Is Alex praying or making a birthday wish? Cannot be.. food looks touched.

Happy boys and happy girls, will be, we are the happy boys and girls...

Nicholl: OMG, he got the last stick!!

Meder, Chow, Alex, Nicholl: the sake no alcohol!!

Nicholl is drunk and starts seducing Alex: ~xiaojie~

what can be worse than being molested on his birthday?

sounds like petition.. or strike?

To be honest, I don't quite like it.
Ok the issue is like this: we have this online e-beam experiement for the module Statics and Mechanics. The deadline was never announced to us and now it is overdue.

I'm not unhappy about the authority (this time), I'm unhappy about the students. Let's not talk about the issue, but talk about the way they are bringing the case up. Look at the IVLE forum. What on earth are they doing?? Starting a petition? Student movement?? Need signature or not?

Hello? Firstly, if it has been an external forum, all of them would have been banned by the admin. Why start so many new topics when it is just ONE topic? Practising their paraphrasing skill or what? If you look at all the replies, they are really identical to one another. What the hell, if that is the case, then just go around collect signature lah!! Why bother copy and paste? Someone even mentioned something like "support my cause" and "make this problem heard".. Hello? You think you are Che Guevara is it?? Or running for Chancellor?

Complain also must complain with maturity lah....

Ok to the angry mob out there, I've actually submitted a crappy answer (kind of restated the theorem and principle), and was intending to edit it later on, that's why I was reluctant to tell you guys my answer. Tell you you also wouldn't believe, so why bother convincing you guys that I really put that crap down as answer?

filial piety

Last night my mother came back a little late for dinner. Usually she will reach home at 730pm, but yesterday she was only back at 8pm. Hmm... how to describe my feeling? Not exactly happy that she didn't call back, but I also can't fault her since she was at work, not as if she went shopping or what. Maybe at some point I was worried (she didn't pick up my calls), which reminds me of what Alex said about "dunno how to react if something happens to her".

To those who think I'm filial, no I'm not, I'm just doing what a son should do I guess. Sometimes people don't understand why I need to rush home to cook dinner, say I can ask my mother to buy back dinner. But isn't it welcoming when you come back from a tiring day of work and dinner is ready to be served? One of the reasons why I didn't choose to stay in hostel is because my brother is already staying in hostel. For my 2 years in NS my mother has been staying alone most of the time, oh haha some of them know that occasionally I would slip home during weekdays.

Almost everyday my mother would talk about happenings at her work place, grumble a bit, etc. How would it be if she has noone to talk to about these? Talking to aunties is quite different from talking to son... Haha there were a few times my mother was telling me I must find some friends and have social life (like my brother I guess...haha)

Sigh. I guess I will have to continue cooking dinner for the next 4 years, since my brother will graduate next year and start working. Yes yes 4 years ago Pauline was saying whoever got married to me will be damn fortunate. Should be whoever got married to me, I will still be damn suay.

Z Gundam -- A New Translation

I'm not sure if that's disappointment written on my face. Maybe people are placing too much expectation on it, especially fans of Gundam. In May 2005, Sunrise released the movie Z Gundam part I in Japanese cinemas. This is dunno the how many times that Sunrise is re-releasing old stuffs. The original Z Gundam is a TV series released in 1985, I myself having watched the series twice. The other times Sunrise was re-releasing things were for the original Gundam, and in Gundam Evolve.

I just finished watching it today, and... well, I must say they did redraw some of the scenes, and some CG were included as well. For part I they are focusing on the atmospheric decend and attack on Jaburo. Since they are summarizing it into a3 part movies, a lot of details were omitted. But for people who have never watched the original Z Gundam, you may feel like it has no head no tail. Names like Amuro Rey and Char Aznable may come across as strangers.

Yup I'm kinda die hard fans of Gundam. Let me see... I've watched MS Gundam, 08th MS Team, Gundam 0080, Gundam 0083, Z Gundam, ZZ Gundam, Char's Counterattack, Gundam F91, V Gundam, W Gundam, Gundam X, Turn A Gundam, Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny, Gundam Evolve, MS Igloo... well that's about all that they have anyway. Oh, playing with Bandai plastic figurines doesn't make you a Gundam fans, trust me. And just watching anything after G Gundam also doesn't make you a Gundam fans, cos those series sucks to the core. Nothing beats the storyline in Universal Century, ie from MS Gundam to V Gundam. Gundam is not about robots and robots and robots, but also politics, ideals, beliefs, love, friendship... but the new story lines are getting more and more shallow, that's why people who likes the new series and still claim they are Gundam fans are really frogs in the well.

Maybe I just love old things. Old series, old songs, old lovers.
Ok I sound like a Gundam freak. Cos I am.

cow marks

Students of the world unite,
you have nothing to fail but your exams!!

--- chow.

danger... huh? what danger?

Imagine you are being taken hostage by a terrorist, the cold barrel of his gun pressing hard against your head. All you need is a trigger-happy freak to blow some brain cells out from your skull (provided you do have a brain, that is)
And what do you do? You continue crapping or munching an apple.... (or sipping coffee)
If I were the police, I'll rather kill the hostage then slowly settle with the terrorist.

Yes yes exam is coming!! So exciting!! Doesn't it add on to the thrill when you go into the exam hall unprepared? (sigh, maybe I'm just trying to be sarcastic to myself in a failed attempt to persuade myself to go study)

Maybe there is still that 0.00001 percent of readiness in me. (ho ho at least I know the venues and time) Have been helpping people with tutorials through forum and MSN. Mechanics, Physics, Mechanics, Mechanics..... err did I repeat Mechanics twice? Somehow I feel a little embarassed when people ask me about the solution, cos I've finished the tutorials around 1 week before the due date, sometimes more, so I sort of completely forget about the working steps. I could have redone the questions, but I was just too lazy. So ended up prompting them if they made any careless mistake or what. Concept I can discuss with them. But most of the time, people are more interested in the answer. Ain't we all guilty of that? No. Haha the thing I take a lot of pride in is answering queries in the IVLE forum. Since mostly they are asking about concept problem, so I am less lazy to answer them. Have pride lor, my explaination all have detailed diagram and graphs!!

Oh, last night a computer engineering graduate asked me how to insert audio clip in his blog. To think that he always talks about what Java and C++ which I know nuts about, the scenario really sounds funny. Afterall, the person manufacturing cars in the factory may not know how to drive.

I should have used instant messenger

Look at that! Me and Wan Jing have so much to talk about, even over things like a cup!!
Maybe we should have chatted on MSN.
Maybe we shouldn't.

thankful apology, apologetic thank

Dear Percussion Girl:
(argh heck it... I'm just out of my mind.. ok stick to the normal blog entry. If I want to send her I could always use the email, no point routing through this pathetic blog of mine.)
Sigh... I just feel kind of guilty now. Am I flirting Stephanie? Maybe I don't mean it, but.. ok let's hope she doesn't give a damn. In a way, I feel like I'm using her.. (sharks, that spoil the whole plan) cos now whenever I talk to Nikki, I feel less awkward unless she talks about "him", "Singapore", "relationship"... but I think she has become more sensitive and tactful when chatting with me. Deception is the name. I am the game. (no no no not computer game that kind, game as in target or prey or whatever u catch in hunting) Stephie really helped to draw away some unwanted attention.

Why was I so silly? Knowing that something is not possible and still jump into it. Ok the Nikki issue is kind of resolved for a while already, now she can ask me homework, can tok cock sing song, and at least I feel a little more at ease chatting to her. No doubt Nikki is cute, but I just have to convince myself that she is not for me and I'm not for her.

Now the problem is Stephanie. No she is not the problem, I am the problem (getting ready to be smacked..) Think of it.. isn't it romantic to know someone from a concert? I didn't really meet her there, but we breathed in the same air, listened to the same music, walked out from the same sliding doors... who knows, I might have shared the same bus 151 with her everyday and she might have stared hard at me thinking what a weirdo this guy is...

I've never seen Stephie before, but I guess she is not the gorgeous type (ok stop smacking me) But I guess there are qualities in her that kind of attracted me. She cares for her friends, she has a deep passion for band, she is the elder sister, she..... I dunno. I believe her passion for band is deeper than my passion for climbing, since she went for practise albeit exam is around the corner. (whereas I guiltily skipped yesterday's climb, just to curb my urge) When someone has passion, he/she will tend to have less time for silly thoughts. Makes sense?

Somehow I have been thinking these few days, a good girl friend may not make a good wife, a good wife may not make a good girl friend. So, which one are you looking for? I know I'm not ready for any kind of relation. Maybe have to wait for 3-4 yrs. Maybe never. But I'm defintely not ready now. It is very unfair for the girl if she doesn't get what she deserves, what she needs. It is like, even if Nikki wants me, I can't be physically there for her when she needs me. Ok whatever, she wasn't looking for home tutor or counsellor anyway.

Sigh.. what am I. Fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of being single.
Sharks, I spill the bean again... can you guys pretend not having read this?

reverse evolution

To those who knew me before 2003, I'm back.
To those who knew me after 2003, I'm still back.
I just cut my hair this morning....

This morning I asked my mother to help me cut my hair. (we have the hair clipper) So I reasoned with her that exam is near, I need to cut botak like how I used to be in primary school, secondary school and jc. She didn't say much.
When I looked into the mirror, I was like, "har?! you really cut botak for me ar?!?!"
"huh? you were kidding me?"
"No! This is my head, I was kidding myself..."

Ok, back to study. Now I can forget about flirting Stephanie with this ridiculous look...
*ermm by any chance are there girls who get turn on by botak?*

Yes yes this is the reverse of an Evolution.. dream on if you want to see my photo..

those dreams again...

*sob sob*.. why must I always have kinky dreams????
It is more cruel than waving a lollipop in front of an innocent boy....
*sob sob*

how was the girl levitated?

I'm not exactly shocked, but just wondering what is the science behind it.... oh the magician is called Cyril Takayama.

the stupid rescue

here comes the seemingly stupid thing.

I was back from supermarket just now, and when I was near my home, I saw 6 fire engines and 1 ambulance parked beside the neighbouring block. I thought it was a fire, but when I saw the air cushion I knew there's something more to it.

I went back home and looked out from the kitchen. The air cushion was fully set up. Let me tell you what happened during the one hour. Firemen lazing around. Minus the DART (Disaster Assistance and Rescue Team) guys who were seen WALKING up and down the stairs. They went into a room on the 6th floor and peeped out from the kitchen. For a moment I thought the problematic unit is on the 5th floor. (the whole row of windows were closed anyway) So the SCDF (Singapore Civil Defence Force) personnel asked the old lady on the 6th floor to take in all her bamboo sticks. Then they set up a green safety net and a couple of anchor points.

Yawn yawn. I stupidly waited there for more than an hour, hoping to see some actions. (I just wanted to see the DART rappel down, seriously) Finally the ropes were thrown down, and 3 DART members rappeled down. They didn't stop at 5.. they went all the way to 3nd floor.. what the hell. Then I heard some knocking sound, and soon the rescue personnels rappel down to the ground floor. They didn't break in... this is what I think has happened:

DART knocks on the windows: "uncle, are you ok?"
uncle opens windows with sleepy eyes: "har? orh, ok ok"
then SCDF packed up....

This is what I observed: the SCDF people have no sense of urgency. If I wanted to jump it would be so easy to fail to stop me. The ambulance was parked the inner most. So if they really need to evacuate the casualty, all the fire engines would need to move out first before the ambulance could. Unwise. And stupid civilians, one guy parked his car after the fire engine, another stopped in the pathway to kpo, ended up he blocked the fire engines behind him. I really wish I could crush over those 2 cars..

All along I have a very negative impression of the SCDF. There was once the plastic playground behind my block caught fire. The flame was so huge that at 6th floor all my windows were blackened and smoke got into my kitchen. The fire engines only arrived after there was nothing left to be burnt. If only they came earlier, I didn't have to clean my windows. On another occasion, my next door aunty didn't turn off her stove when she went out, and black smoke was rushing out from her toilet windows and corridor windows. The firemen took eons to arrive, couldn't find their way to the unit, and still took their time to shout into the room. Please, we have already shouted in... go do whatever you can do which we can't do. Think they chainsawed her door and took a little walk in her house.

For goodness sake, go and watch the movie 十万火急 and learn from 刘青云. Hong Kong firemen are still the best, at least they have balls to climb pipes and out from windows to save suicidal ppl.

I left my man behind

ok i talk about the less stupid and more serious thing first.

This morning I went to supermarket with my mother. On the way I saw Norazman head on. I can't help feeling guilty whenever I think of him...

Norazman was under my charge in army, sort of. He has been a detainee before, can't remember was it for drugs or for AWOL, but what's the use of remembering someone's shortcoming? He actually lives a few blocks away from me, and there were a few times I conducted welfare visit on him when he was on long term MC.

There was this day, which he was supposed to be posted to a new unit. I went to his house to fetch him, but he wasn't home. His brother told me he was staying overnight at his grandmother's home, so I asked him to call Norazman back. When he arrived, the siblings started quarreling in Malay. Norazman claimed that they kicked him out of the house, while his brother said he had been taking drugs. They went inside and fought it out...
Norazman grabbed a kitchen knife and locked himself in his room. This kind of family dispute, I really wasn't sure of what to do. I wanted to call the police, but how would it reflect on the army when this commander on the scene couldn't handle it. (yup i was wearing green, with beret on)
Heck it, I ran in, and tried to talk him out. He opened the door with knife in hand, ready to stab me I guess. (wow, I was thinking how would it be to be killed in action). The floor in his room was full of pills.. sigh..

Okay the rest of the story is classified. Not officially, but cos I don't want to talk about it.

Maybe I was too nice to my subordinates. I just feel that I've abandoned him by letting him post out. I couldn't solve his family problem. I couldn't solve his drug problem (if there was any. I couldn't confirm if he was on drugs)

I thought I could leave no man behind.

babel babel babel

Because my blog has some non-english speaking readers, especially from Hong Kong, so I was thinking of putting Babel Fish on my blog. I tested out the code in PC Cluster at NUS Computer Centre, and the result was extreme horror (and humour). Not sure if any lucky ones spotted it before my fingers KOed it in my fastest possible typing speed.

this one sounds a little porno...

what the hell, my name has become Jay Chou's favourite vulgarity...

let's be pigs and fly.. nice translation.

*by the way, babelfish comes from the novel "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Don't make me laugh, can you?

bunch of weirdos

Ok I was pissed.. now I'm not. Let me recount my day choronologically...

Today is supposed to be the start of the study week, but because my Statics and Mechanics tutor couldn't finish discussing the tutorial question, therefore we had to go back to school today. Hmm now then I realize I could have skipped that cos I did my tutorial perfectly... ok great, I'm so confident and proud with my Mechanics, one less module to worry about.

After lunch with Hong Jun and Wei Chuan at arts canteen, I went to town in search of konjac jelly... (just because I couldn't find it at King Albert Park Cold Storage yesterday... see? I'm so determined) I went to Bukit Timah to take bus 171 instead of taking bus 10 all the way just to get back some old memories... when I was in The Chinese High the way to Orchard is either by bus 171 or 174.

So on the journey I saw this disgusting guy... he has everyone of his 10 fingernails coloured with black nail varnish and his hand was wearing some sort of barbed-wire-like accesories. What the hell... super deviant lor... males wearing ear rings/studs is already deviant in my eyes, this guy is worse. Burn me, hang me, whatever you want to do on me, deviant. ~_~#

So I went to Isetan supermarket at Shaw Tower, thinking that a Japanese supermarket should have konjac jelly. The problem is.... I can't read Japanese, and the jelly there just don't look like konjac ones! But the coffee collection there was really killing me... and yes! I saw big cookie tins of Oreo!! How I wish I'm rich, then I can have all the snacks that I want. Don't worry, I CAN'T grow fat.

Disappointed, so I went to Market Place at Raffles City. Damn it, you know what happened, they were renovating the supermarket!! I should have visited Market Place at Paragon... so disappointed again, I made my way to Campers' Corner to check out some climbing gear... then, illogically, went to Cold Storage at Funan to see if I can find the konjac jelly. (by right if this branch doesn't have, the others shouldn't have right?) And you know what? I found it!! Sigh... people must be wondering why this 20+ year old boy is searching for snacks...

Ok here comes the pissing part.. *drum beating...* I went home on bus 851, and got myself a seat in that crowded bus. A few old men boarded a few stops later, and I offered my seat. (grin grin) But the younger old man took it before the older old man.. poor thing. Am I very sadistic to let 2 old men 'fight' for seat? Anyway ended up all the old people alighted earlier than me (with more old people boarding..) Ok so I stood against the window. Then a big size lady boarded the bus, and you know what? She lean her gigantic butt on me.. what the hell, I know I'm rigid like a pillar but still..... (I think a hot babe would make hell lot of difference) Then a young, beautiful pregnant lady boarded the bus, and people were like looking at her as if she was some new found speices in the zoo... Someone left the seat and a ~50 years old lady, who was sitting beside the now empty seat and was one of the eye-power people, reserved that seat for her buddy to shift over.. freaking hell, the way she was looking at the pregnant lady with those eyes of caution, I really wanted to take my Nalgene bottle and give her a few slaps.

Now I'm thinking, if I had sticked on to my seat, I could have offered that seat to the pregnant lady. I really wanted to ask her if she needed help to find a seat, but I didn't have the courage to do that... stupid me right? I realize there is a limit to how much an individual can do. Given a choice, I would rather offer my seat to a pregnant woman than to old people. Firstly, a pregnant woman holds 2 lifes. Second, old people usually don't give a damn to your "kindness". Not saying we want to be acknowledged for it, but don't u feel like taking back the seat when you see their stuck-up look on their wrinkled face?

Ok I'm just pissed off with the eye-power people. Pretending to sleep isn't as bad as looking with freaking curiousity.. as if they think it is just a shell on the woman's stomach. Damn it I'm so irrational!!

quote of the day

he [Harold Macmillan] said, "... as you know, the vice chancellor actually runs the university, but if u didn't have a chancellor, u couldn't have a vice chancellor"
---
Chris Patten
Chancellor, Oxford University and Newcastle University
Last Governor of Hong Kong

on Tuesday, 8 November 2005
at Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy, National University of Singapore

she show me on cam

No no no... in case you are thinking otherwise, please don't think otherwise... cos otherwise is usually unwise...

My brain was kinda blank out after drilling on Mechanics questions, so I decided to disturb Nikki on MSN. Out of the blue she asked if I would want to see her new hair cut on webcam, so.. why not? Afterall I did think of seeing her recently...

Hmm... no difference leh... maybe cos it has been such a long time since I last saw her on webcam, during which her hair grew long and now she cut it, so the net change in length is zero (wah lao... all the Physics and Mechanics jargon coming out...) Anyway she gave one very cool look into the webcam with narrowed eyes... as though she wanted to threaten me... -_-''

Actually I wasn't sure if I wanted to accept the webcam connection, fearing that seeing her face once again may stir up some emotions in me. Guess it would appear cool to blatantly reject her suggestion. Aww.. but afterall she meant no harm at all...

Oh, to the desperate girls out there, I DON'T have a webcam.

quote of wednesday

Meder: Yo. How is it hanging there?
Siu Hang: Still on belay...

yeeee... so cheesecake!!

Spinelli's Oreo Cheesecake is simply nice!!!

Today is Wei Guang's birthday, so Hong Jun, Tiong Chuan and I shared to buy a piece of cake for him (cost less than $4) Ended up the stupid birthday boy overslept. (I'm not supposed to curse at him right?) So Hong Jun and I passed the cake to Wei Guang after Sociology lecture. Hong Jun was right to buy one piece, cos you can't eat much for a cheesecake.. too stuffing. Cheesecakes are just pure addictive!

Earlier over lunch, Hong Jun was asking TC and I some Maths question, and both of us just stun there.. where did the equation evolve from?? TC said dunno why he felt more calm now, and I commented that it must be now he knows what he doesn't know, so he can work on it now. Guess it is pretty much true for me. "A good general knows what battle he can win and what he can't win." --Sun Tzu.

On my way back I met Huimin at the bus stop. Both of us are taking Making Sense of Society, and we chatted quite a bit of it and her course on the bus. Just feel little guilty to mix up what she is studying. (she's studying Social Psychology, I thought she majoring Sociology)

I alighted at King Albert Park and went to Cold Storage. (remember? I like to hang out at supermarket) The thing about Cold Storage is that although the price is a bit higher, but the variety of stuffs there is unmatched. Sadly, I couldn't find the konjac jelly that my mother is looking for. Looks like I'll need to go to Market Place at City Hall for it.

sex and THE city

According to the Durex Global Sex Survey, Singapore is ranked second last in the list for frequency of sex, with an average of 79 times per year. (I know I'm the culprit who pulls down the average.) The average age of first sex is 18.9 (ok, at least for this one i'm pulling it up). The average frequency of orgasm is...... (what the hell, go and read it yourself!)

Why are they making it sound as if it is abnormal to have so little sex?? (not male or female, but the act itself!) One of the reasons the government is implementing the 5 days work week is to let people make baby in the midst of this greying population. I know that in order to make baby you need to have sex, but is there really a correlation between frequency of sex and birthrate? Hmm if you make every shot counts, then of course there is a correlation. But c'mon, dear French invented something called french caps! Err... not trying to encourage the government to ban condom, but I just feel that it doesn't work this way. Alright alright, I'm the culprit, blame me, my fault. I'm the hindrance to social stability.

Read in the paper about a group of kids gangbanging a 12 years old girl... (ermm not gang rape, is gang bang!) Is the government doing anything to tackle sex crimes? I think when people are kept under pressure, the more they want to break free, just like ideal gas pV=nRT. Should the government legalise pornography? (oh, a lot of guys will be happy.) In countries like Sweden, legalising pornography has brought about a significant drop in the number of sex related crimes. It can be just like gambling, alcohol or cigarette, where the government impose a heavy tax.

Why am I talking about this? It is like asking a football commentator to talk about basketball match...

let's make pigs fly

Luck was on my side for my previous 2 exams. At O level, my Geography improved from prelim result of B4 to A1. At A level, my F Maths skyrocketed from F to B.

Would you call it miracle?

I think so. I've never been hard working. Maybe I was, but somehow along the way my effort didn't pay off, and I got disheartened... started to give up on myself, everything... what goes in ≠ what comes out

Start to get unreasonably, ridiculously superstitious. Should I cut botak again? (again cos I was a botak from primary school all the way to J2) I used to (and still am) think that short hair gives a clear mind. Hair is like troubled thoughts: the less the better. Furthermore, it is something like determination. But it has been 2 years since I last had botak head. I want it but my mother doesn't allow.

Hmm.. and yes I have been daydreaming these few days, would a hug and kiss from Stephanie make a good luck charm.. (-_-'' I'm serious!! err or am I supposed to say the opposite?

Maybe I'm just getting a little frustrated over some Mechanics questions...

the unwanted tea

It is near exam period and the engin welfare club has set up snacks and tea break tables outside LT7A. I was early for Physics lecture today (I only had 1 hr of lesson today) and feeling a little hungry, so I went to check up the snacks. Hmm.. more or less empty since it was already 12pm, early birds got all the worms. Glance glance, there were 2 innocent looking 3-in-1 packets lying on the table. "Jasmine Milk Tea". So curious me went to make a cup for myself.... as usual took a deep sniff... yeek smell like some mashmallow or some sweet stuffs. Took a sip... that for sure spoilt the rest of my day. With a little sense of guilt, I disposed of the whole styrofoam cup.

Lesson learnt? When others don't want it, most probably it is bad. In Cantonese we call it "卖剩蔗" or "unsold sugarcane" in English. Guess it is pretty true for a 22 year old single-all-the-way boy as well.

Now I'm making up for it with a cup of intense Nescafe.

fake friend or real enemy?

Nikki was telling me about her problem with friends lately. It was a little similar to what Alex encountered, guess many people have encountered it at one time or another.

It was like more than the 3rd time she was telling me about it. I thought it could be the time of the month, but think the issue is quite clear and present. Nikki feels that she is treating her friends more than they treat her in return. It is like when they have problem she is there for them, but when she wants to talk about serious things with them, they just shrug it off. So she just doesn't know whom she can confide in. She also said that they said she looks arrogant.

Hmm.. I guess you can't do much about arrogant look, unless you smile more? So I told her (the previous time, not last night) if it is so hypocritical, she might as well don't clique with them. But she doesn't want to be alone -_-# hmmm... but it is like saying you join street gangs cos you don't want to be alone... If you don't feel happy being in the group, then why force yourself to be in??

So sweet! She said she doesn't know who to talk to but I'm a good listener!! Argh I don't want to get diabetes!! Sometimes I just don't know if I've assumed the wrong role and care too much. It is like even 30+ yr old women in the forum, I would talk to them about their marriage problems... am I like.... getting overboard in trying to be caring?

chow, child

This piece of news is hot.
A few minutes ago, I was running around in my home like what a little boy would do. My right foot hit the corner of my door frame, and I fell.

Nice landing. Ouch.

spending power vs wealth

Dunno why I flared up on Jack yesterday during lunch. It started with nosy me saying something like Japanese food at engin canteen is so expensive. Then Jack said you eat cheaper food and save money also no use mah, later get knocked down by car then the end result is still the same. Wah! I hate cursing! It is just so foul-mouthed... the F word seems so much more polite than that lor!!

Then he went on to say that they are spending so much and I'm saving so much, so I am richer than them. What kind of a theory is that? Not trying to act pathetic or poor or what-so-ever, but doesn't the ability to spend indicate something? I know most kids don't need to worry about their tuition fee....... oh, I ain't worrying, cos interbank GIRO handles everything.

That reminds me of another thing. During army days there was once I was assisting Chiu Lung Ting (my deputy manpower officer) to assess a recruit's financial situation to decide whether or not to approve his application for financial aid. (specialists are specialised in everything and officers, being generalist, generally know nothing) So Alvin was telling me you don't totally weight your assessment on the things that a person own, cos some of the time the things are hand-out or giveaways from relatives. So when we reached the recruit's home, we saw so many new CDs, he uses new model handphone, (yes new models catch my eyes easily, cos I don't give a damn to it), and what's more, a poor chap spends 5 bucks on every meal. Can't he just cook instant noodle? Well he has his right to choose his lifestyle, and we have our right to reject his application.

So back to me. Yah I know my Philippe S+arck watch is very nice, but that's a present from an auntie. C'mon you guys know I won't spend money on those things... that's why I always like those girls with older models of handphones... they just present the image of someone who won't spend unnecesarily.

Saving is a good thing, but don't worry guys, I ain't overdoing it.

slack.

The only thing I hear is "SLACK!", "SLACK!", "SLACK!"

The next thing you are going to hear is "falling...."

*piak*!

dream of a broken dream

Usually my tears will roll when it is a sad dream...
My eyes were dry last night, maybe I've gotten used to the sad reality.
Or, have I?
Why would the dream come back to haunt me?
The dream, of a broken dream.
As if it came back to remind me of the reality.
As if it came back to remind me of my broken dream.
My broken dream.
It was like a slap in the face.
The dream was broken, but I still haven't let go.

That's why I still can't forgive jason. He will never understand the pain I am going through.

broad daylight on a bus

I don't know if it is him or it is just me...

Just now I was on bus 852, there was this girl who looked quite pretty... and there was this guy in his 20s dressed in office attire. So both of them were standing next to each other near the exit, and the girl was about to alight at Caldecott. You know what, this guy was staring at her bosoms, even though the girl was looking in his direction..!! His eyes were like, sweeping up and down her body, occasionally stopping at her chest level....

This kind of white collar basket.... actually does he feel shameful for it? I guess not.. it is like stealing something and still argue back at the policeman... Argh!

I think it is just me who finds it unethical. Think about it, he did not commit any crime or wrong-doing.. being dirty-minded isn't an offence, right?

Sigh... I still belong to the stone age...

maiyahi by taiwanese octopus ball

pirated original stuff is still the best, compared to original pirated stuff. err... which is which?
This one is from Avex Tracks, sung by an octopus ball..

quote of yesterday

Meder: Why are you so pessimistic?
Chow: It's good to be pessimistic. To a pessimist, things can't get any worse.
Alex: That's a optimistic view of a pessimist.

steph and black hole hair.

I'm not sure of black hole hair *ahem* but maybe I'll talk about black hole from a very entry level. Maybe Stehpanie can enlighten us further. =)

In the outer space there are interstellar gases and clouds. After 500,000yrs they will turn into a protostar which is a baby star. It will grow up to become a star, subsequently run out of fuel and becomes a red giant...(no, not monster, but giant). From here, it will either undergo a small explosion called nova and turn into white dwarfs, or go thru a gigantic explosion called supernova (not the BT site suprnova) and turn into neutron stars or black holes. (I can't understand why is it called Cafe Nova, not as if there was an explosion or what and turn into 3-in-1 coffee)

During the explosion from the surface of the core, we also have implosion occuring at the inner most core. A black hole appears if the implosion is massive enough.

Now, I'm going to do some maths here. We know that kinetic energy is 1/2(mv^2), gravitational potential energy is -GMm/r. To find the equilibrium point we put 1/2(mv^2)-GMm/r=0, giving us the escape velocity to be root(2GM/r). If we replace the v with c, the speed of light, and rearranging the equation, we will have r=2GM/c^2. This r is called Schwarzschild radius, at which even light ray cannot escape the gravity pull of the star. This means that even light will be sucked into the black hole! To be exact, the Schwarzschild radius will define a surface called the event horizon. Inside this event horizon, things will be compactified such that their volume will become zero (and density will become infinity). The point at whcih the volume reaches zero is called singularity.

No hair theorem says that a black hole has almost no "hair" (they could have said "no dust theorem".. why no hair?), and the only "hair" it has are mass, angular momentum and electric charges. In other words, a black hole only remembers the mass, angular momentum and electric charge of the matter which falls into it. Anyway Stephen Hawking has presented a new theory against the no hair theorem...

Argh these are getting so deep.... continue next time if my mood feels like it.

resonance in lecture theatre

hello? Don't you know that the seats in a lecture theatre are linked??
If the person to my left and the person to my right each shake at magnitude of 1x, I, yes I, will shake at magnitude of 2x. Don't you understand what is superposition?
And when the both of you shake at the same frequency, what will occur? RESONANCE! And the epicentre will be my seat! (trust me, I have seen one whole row of seats just gave way and collapsed.. not in NUS but.. somewhere)
The most stupid thing is, I, the one who did not shake leg, seem to be shaking more violently than the 2 of you who shake your blardy legs. People must be thinking, this freak suffering from seizure? Spasm? It is so unfair, just like why must a non-smoker get lung cancer when he doesn't derserve it at all. (well maybe he deserves it, who ask him to hang around with smokers)

I know it is Sunday, but...

taking home for granted

I just can't help it.. I feel sick and tired whenever my mother calls across the room to tell me to go to sleep. I lost my temper at her just now cos I was thinking hard on my physics tutorial.. (yes sometimes I do touch my tutorials) and it just doesn't help me at all. Plus the stupid neighbour is like singing karaoke every night.. what the hell, want to sing then go K Box lah, there is one at Ang Mo Kio Central..

My mother kind of forces me to eat titbits.. it is like I reach home I will see that plate of food on the dining table, OBVIOUSLY waiting and expecting me to finish it. But.. I just have zero interest on it... to be honest I don't have the patience to eat. And fruits! Every evening in the midst of my studying she will call me out to eat fruit.. and I can't bring it back into my room to continue with my work cos it will attract uninvited guest such as mr roach and miss ants.

I know she is doing these for my own good.. but......
Sometimes I just envy my brother. He is staying in NTU hostel, Monday to Friday night are practically free and easy. Why can he stay up until 4am but I can't? My mother will make noise even if I'm up at 12...... and when my brother comes home in the weekend, the expectation on him to do housework is so negligible compared to mine.....

There are reasons to why I didn't even consider staying in hall.. See, if I stay in hostel as well, then who is going to be at home? My mother alone? I just feel that there should be a man in the house...

Arghh.. I miss army days.. yes call me sick, but I do miss army days.... I feel like crying now...

still feel like flying and hanging...

I think I was on the belay end for too long... now I still have that feet-off-the-ground feeling... luckily my Black Diamond harness has padding, if not I may have concussion.

So happy, Meder got himself a Petzl Calidris harness, the same model used by Alex and Wee Li... hmm that makes me feel like I'm the weirdo in the gang with a Black Diamond harness... anyway Meder deflowered his new harness today!!

I think Alex and I can't be bothered to ask Nicholl along, since there is no telling whether she will turn up or not, so might as well leave her outside our consideration. Laura and Birgette weren't here too, and Meder said cos they didn't message him (err..) Wee Li, Uncle Gene and Bernard were there too~! So were Corrine and the power kids from First Toa Payoh.

Meder did his first lead climb today. I really am amazed at his progress curve. No no I'm not going to compare myself to him, although Alex would always like to say I'm not trying hard enough. Today I cleared lane 1 white, reached the inclined part of the middle inclined wall on green, then improved by one panel on lane 3 blue, and lead-climbed lane 6 green. The inclined was quite fun, it was my first time to shout in a climb! It is like.. ermm.. gave you a last burst of energy to reach for the next hold (obviously I didn't make it past the handle). Lane 3 blue was damn cock, cos I saw the colour wrongly, so I didn't use that tile on panel 8. But nevertheless I still improved... for my lead-climb, I finally didn't hangdog on the rope.

It was quite fun to see the First Toa Payoh kids around. Yes the Nikki look-alike was there!! *shake myself awake* nonono cannot be paedophile!! Iman was very encouraging as he kept telling us the next move whenever we were stuck. Wee Li also kept cheering his father on... That just made the morning Saturday sun much warmer~!

Arghh why I still feel like floating in mid air??

entropy, process, outcome

Dr Rajesh was talking about entropy in Engineering Physics lecture yesterday. It is something to do with thermodynamics and the energy involved. So he was linking macrostates and microstates and the example he used kind of triggered me to ponder somewhere far...

The example is like this: you have 4 coins and you are to toss them. In order to get 4 heads/0 tail there is only 1 way; 4 ways for 3 heads/1 tail; 6 ways for 2 heads/2 tails; 4 ways for 1 head/ 3 tails; and 1 way for 0 head/ 4 tails. (it is something like combination... probability here) So in order to get to 2 heads/2 tails there are so many ways, and if you are talking about tossing 100 coins, the possible number of combinations will be astronomical.. that brings me to something that I was discussing with my brother the other day...

I was saying over lunch that some students sleep in lecture and skip lessons, kind of unbecoming of students. Then my brother said, it is not the process that matters, at the end of the day they sleep they skip they still get a first class honours, so why bother? Then I said, isn't that attitude a little not right? (I've never slept in a lecture, but my result doesn't seem to be superior to anyone...that kind of makes me feel disheartened)

Then yesterday at lunch time, my lecture clique was crapping and daydreaming. So Hong Jun was saying "give me money now", then I said "give me a degree now".... I realize, you want a degree cos you want to make money.. so if you have money, then why go through the pain of studying for a degree?

People are like talking about process is more important than outcome, but how many people truly accepts the notion? Meder has been saying it (yeah he reads too much on climbing books), Alex... ermm I think he should have said it somewhere... Is education really about outcome? I really feel like vomiting when people are like feeding themselves with past year papers and kids going for tuition like more often than they eat rice...

I still don't feel right about it. It is like, to finish a race you can run all the way, you can crawl all the way, or you can even hitchhike someone's car. Sheesh, you can count the number of freaks on earth using one finger.

starry starry morning...

*cough cough*... just digged out my astronomy notes.. haven't been touching them for ages..
Nope, I'm not taking astronomy or astrophysics, just was thinking of sharing some interesting things with everyone. (or showing what I have gone through in my glorious Chinese High days.. muhahaha) Oh I was the founding member of the astronomy club back then... first batch and last batch.. sad right? I almost started a rocket science club, but too bad the school lacked interest.

Let's start with some names:
Constellations: a group of stars forming some kind of pattern or picture.
Double stars: 1 out of 15 stars is a double or multiple starand about 500 of them from 2 seconds to 1 minute of arc separation can be split with small telescope
Variable star: it varies in brightness. The change takes on average 2 days.
Globular cluster: it is a ball of stars. Individual stars are faint and low power telescope will only show a hazy disk of light
Planetary nebulae: they are luminous gas clouds and are part of our galaxy
Diffuse nebulae: they are large diffuse gas cloud lighted by stars in their vicinity.
External galaxies: complete star systems like our own galaxy
Messier objects: list of 103 sky objects other than stars...

*panting panting* didn't know it is so tiring to type it out... ok next time talk about black hole and no-hair theorem

purpose, outcome, motivation

It is just like a non-swimmer jumping into water to save a drowning person.
Recently I have been going into Statics & Mechanics IVLE forum to help people with tutorial problems.... and now they understand the way to tackle the questions! Well.. I didn't tell them the answers, I just hinted to them the line to think along, but it still feels great to learn that they eventually know how to solve the problems!! In trying to help others I am strengthening my own understanding on the topics at the same time. Can't help feeling glad that I am nosy... *giggle giggle*

Today I got back my quiz 2 for Statics & Mechanics. I got Excellenct!! Hmm... (that's the paper I had last Saturday, the day I missed the climbing session) See? No point submerging yourself in the sea of uncertainies.. if you have done your best then you have. Of course, the best is yet to be, for example I did a super silly mistake.. I misplaced one reaction force and ended up confusing myself on the total equilibrium of the structure.. but still my working scored marks~ Somehow when I saw Zhi Hao next to me also had Excellenct, my own paper seem to pale. (hoho Zhi Hao did his paper in pencil throughout.. and he joked that he is still in primary school) That's the bad thing about comparison... it is like when the whole world lives in condominium, so what if you live in one yourself... see what I mean? But still, my will power has convinced me that I should feel happy.

Ha... this is like a boost of confidence. Looks like my path for the next few years is pretty clear: mechanical engineering... (sigh.. following the footsteps of my brother..)

vespa girl

The other day on my way home on bus 151 I saw something damn cool at NUS Entrance A... a girl riding on a cute Vespa scooter!!

Awww... really have the urge to pillion behind her... imagine hugging her tight with arms around her waist... don't you think that would be so romantic??

Dreaming... Dream on.

(oops have to rush to Statics and Mechanics of Material tutorial now.. but still I want to make it a point to write everyday)

deviance and social control

What do you think is deviance to you? Do you consider yourself a conformist? Or a deviant?
I guess in everyone of us there is this list of traits that will tell us who is deviant and who isn't. Don't you think that you are always the conformist? That we are always behaving in the right way, conforming to the norms and values of society? (of course there are exceptional people who feel proud to be deviant..)

In trying to define deviance, will we be seen as deviants ourselves? Take for example, I think people with tattoo are deviants, people with piercing are deviants, etc. But when society has enough people in these categories, ain't we being turned into deviants ourselves? (that is pretty scary, like when there are enough baddies around, the hero becomes the "bad guy" in the eyes of the real bad guys)

That will come to the labelling theory, in which people define who is deviant and who isn't. Once the label is there, it is pretty difficult to peel it off. For example, people have gotten so used to calling me lame, that when I'm not lame or when I don't even think of the slightest intention to be lame, they will still insist that I am being lame. Count myself unlucky then...

selamat hari raya!

to my Muslim readers, Selamat Hari Raya!!

Today we had Malay food for lunch~!! The cookies were sooo nice!! See? That's what racial harmony is about~ (of course not forgetting this nice boy-next-door who is always in good relationship with his neighbours.. oopz ain't I supposed to praise my Malay neighbour??)

Aww.. should have called Ameet down to raid Croucher Road and storm Rizwan's house today...

(in case you can't read, it says "Sorry. My Fault")

quote of the day

Rizwan: Where are you going now?
Chow: To do something that you cannot do.
Rizwan: Oh yeah, I forgot you are not a virgin.
Chow: ......

(I was going to have lunch, and Rizwan is still fasting.)

let me tell you a joke

I slept at 8:30pm last night and woke up at 5:30am this morning
(trust me, Red Bull is useless.)

Deepavali on the wall

I thought drinking Red Bull helps in climbing.
No it does NOT. (err.. Red Bull gives you wings right?)

It's Deepavali today and the crazy Yishun gang celebrated it with a climb. Meder brought along Laura the German girl~! but Birgette didn't come, so was Nicholl. Grrrrr.... someone who made so much noise about who is climbing who is not.. ended up she overslept. Wee Li and his father were there too~ so cool to have them around.

My first climb was lead-climb up lane 1 white, which was a mistake since I didn't have energy left for the subsequent climbs. (over-reliance on Red Bull) Cleared lane 5 white as well but originally was trying green.. nevermind too suicidal after the 3rd panel... and as usual still couldn't complete lane 3 blue.

When you are tired you just can't think of how to place your feet, how to twist, how to clip in, how to hi step, how to CLIMB! Alex said I was too frontal, but I feel that I have taken the effort to watch my posture... hmm.. oh he wasn't paying attention anyway. Laura was quite quiet, maybe she was shy =) but glad that she cleared quite a few lanes rainbow. I always believe that at the beginning, accomplishment is always encouraging. After a while you will realize that the process is as important and enjoyable (of course there may be frustration.)

We had teppanyaki lunch at North Point, and thank you Meder~!!

Then we went to town, wanting to look at some gear. Ended up both Allsports and Campers' Corner are closed... what has Deepavali got to do with them?? So Alex and I went to Funan to look for DVD scratch removal kit... and we found it at Challenger~

Ok now I'm not a lobster, I'm pink dolphin... my tender new skin got sunburnt....

the combustion that never was

They say it is old flame.
I say it wasn't even alight.
They say the wick was there.
I say there was even a whole bunch of explosives.
The spark didn't find its way to the bomb.
It ended up lighting a huge candle.
A candle with enough materials to burn.
Enough to satisfy the flame materialistically.
Enough to last.... forever?
The bomb remains inert.
Without the spark, what good can a bomb do?
It is as good as being a dummy bomb.
Maybe the bomb will give fireworks of joy.
Maybe the bomb will hurt people.
But now, it is just a dummy bomb.