taking home for granted

I just can't help it.. I feel sick and tired whenever my mother calls across the room to tell me to go to sleep. I lost my temper at her just now cos I was thinking hard on my physics tutorial.. (yes sometimes I do touch my tutorials) and it just doesn't help me at all. Plus the stupid neighbour is like singing karaoke every night.. what the hell, want to sing then go K Box lah, there is one at Ang Mo Kio Central..

My mother kind of forces me to eat titbits.. it is like I reach home I will see that plate of food on the dining table, OBVIOUSLY waiting and expecting me to finish it. But.. I just have zero interest on it... to be honest I don't have the patience to eat. And fruits! Every evening in the midst of my studying she will call me out to eat fruit.. and I can't bring it back into my room to continue with my work cos it will attract uninvited guest such as mr roach and miss ants.

I know she is doing these for my own good.. but......
Sometimes I just envy my brother. He is staying in NTU hostel, Monday to Friday night are practically free and easy. Why can he stay up until 4am but I can't? My mother will make noise even if I'm up at 12...... and when my brother comes home in the weekend, the expectation on him to do housework is so negligible compared to mine.....

There are reasons to why I didn't even consider staying in hall.. See, if I stay in hostel as well, then who is going to be at home? My mother alone? I just feel that there should be a man in the house...

Arghh.. I miss army days.. yes call me sick, but I do miss army days.... I feel like crying now...