piece of my mind
Stephanie was telling me how her friends think of me from reading my blog. Something like I don't know what I want and everything I must ask my parents. I know they were just voicing out their views and opinions and now I'm trying to stay sensible. (the picture is there to help me keep myself calm and sensible)What is wrong with asking parents' opinion? You guys don't talk to your parents? Obviously they are older than me, so they have relatively richer social experience than me. Then you will say I have no belief of my own. Of course I do have, but is your belief always right? When you ogle at people of the opposite gender you would elbow your friends and ask for their opinion too, don't you? Then you will say I'm 22 and this is the 21st century. So what? If you are so capable might as well move out and live by yourself, earn money yourself, feed yourself, change your surname, be happy. 21st century means you can disregard your parents, go to court against them, ignore them? Some even said my family torture me. Please lor! You guys torture your parents right?
I was brought up in a traditional Chinese family. Since young we were taught Confucius ideology, respect for elders is a major part. I'm a son in this family, obviously there are duties and obligations to fulfil. No matter how much I may dislike some of the chores, it is still my duty. Oh so if you don't like National Service then run away from it lah!
When a cub knows when to find food itself, it will. If you guys are so concerned about how my family is run, please look at your own home and think is it just a hotel room? Do you ever take ownership of it? I mop the floor and water the plants, what's wrong with it? It's my home for goodness' sake.
It's like coffee, you can't separate the creamer from the coffee. So is family.
(sorry this entry is ill-organised, cos I'm quite fed-up)
crap posted by chillycraps at
11:40 PM
5 Comments:
Pardon me, i think your impression seems to be a little thwarted, perhaps coz i gave u the wrong idea.
when they say it seems as if ur family torture u, it is not that serious, it was in a joking sense.
they are not saying that you should not ask ur parents' opinion, disregard them, go to court against them or ignore them, but that regarding some things u should follow ur own belief. Yes, the elders always have relatively richer social experience, but the circumstances then dun always fit into the circumstances now. i'll put it crudely: they are not always right. i don't think you import ideas whole from them and implement it though, so it's just a side note...
my fam isn't that traditional anymore and i suppose so are my frenz. Respect for elders is a good thing, but is there limit to it? Sometimes if one don't stand up for oneself or wat one believes, u lose a lot of things... dunno, mayb coz we're not that traditional.. i know my mum is right on a lot of counts. maybe coz i'm stubborn and i need to fall before i believe her so sometimes i'll ignore her. but then i realize that for somethings if i say "ok" to their ideas, then i'll haf missed out on many experiences.. is this relevant here? haha.. remem my fortune-telling...
i used to say "are ur family's ideas ur own?" with the view that it should not be.. but then within a family there has to be certain views that are the same, if not how to have that family bond... contradicting, isn't it..
don't know, my comment quite bo liao. Some things I want to say but can't put it down properly in words.
Seriously, my friends are not THAT against u k. What can I say? They are my frenz and they want to protect me. I seem to have given u the wrong idea about them as well as brought their ideas across a bit too strongly. Really sorry for hurting/pissing u off coz of this. And if my frenz are reading this, please dun get angry coz these are his views and erm I know some stuff a bit too strong but he IS angry, so yar...
By
tstar, at 1/19/2006 08:50:00 AM
traditional values.. well.. it's not wrong.. but well.. i guess it's all how u look at it..
to me.. traditional household values or not.. i choose my family above everything.. however, when i do think values are wrong, then i will think about it and rebutt back..
probably it's independent thinkin already.. my mum has been naggin at me for the past few days on some stuff tat i can't take it.. and cant really u know.. accept it.. so i rebutted back lor.. then after a while, she thought about it.. and sort of like realised that she's in a little wrong and then apologised.. so yup.. i guess sometimes.. it's all how u think about it..
By
DJ Niwde, at 1/19/2006 11:12:00 AM
Yeah man! I think nowdays whenever people think modernise, they think westernised... and independence. I guess I feel sorry for those who are not as closely knitted to their parents coz if you think about it, they're here today but might be gone tomorrow.
If you want independence.. you have your whole life ahead of you, for me, right now.. i enjoy my mum always asking me every day, "what happened in school today" even though she knows I always give the same reply "nothing new".
By
Anonymous, at 1/19/2006 12:28:00 PM
thanks ppl for your comments.
I thought of deleting this entry, but now seeing your comments, they are in fact more meaningful than my original text. Deleting it doesn't give justice to the beautiful words.
It will stay.
o~d and edwin: yeah sometimes we take the naggings for granted, but it is these little things that have meanings to them. Like how I asked Edwin, did he miss the nagging when he was in Australia away from his parents in Singapore.
By
chillycraps, at 1/19/2006 01:59:00 PM
kinda la.. but well..
when u get back here.. it's kinda different already.. cuz back there.. u always think for yourself.. but now.. with the nagging.. it's like u're being dragged by the nose to go everywhere..
it's a cultural change.. but it's for the better i guess.. so ya lor.. now still enduring it.. however, i still like independence.. think for yourself.. and protect yourself in times of needs..
BUT!! I will still hold on to my family values.. if u have read my blog.. i'm giving up my work to be with my family.. instead of the other way around.. i'm kinda leaving my company already.. although i will miss it.. but well.. things changed and it didn't really work out.. so ya lor.. with the nagging at home.. i choose home over work..
By
DJ Niwde, at 1/19/2006 02:22:00 PM
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